And As We Start Over
by hugs.and.skittles
Summary: Starts with the kiss in 8x21 and follows on from there. Because sometimes you have to go back to face the past before you can even start to begin your future. Okay so I suck at writing a summery but the story itself is better I promise and I'll come back and edit this when it isn't nearly midnight.
1. Chapter 1

I haven't written anything in about 100 years and it's far too late at night right now to worry about editing so please be kind. I just love these two far too much not to have a bit of fun playing with them. (Does that sound wrong...? Okay maybe that wasn't the best way to phrase it but you guys all know what I mean.)

So here we go, part one of... I honestly have no idea.

Hope you enjoy.

Chelsey x

P.s. It's rated T because there may be some sexy times later on and also there is a fair bit of bad language going on right from the off. Sorry peeps.

_And As We Start Over_

**_Lorraine_**

_"I've got some amazing plans for this school and you and me, we're the ones to make it happen." _

_She was looking at me and I knew the unanswered question on her lips was finally about to be spoken aloud._

_"Wha..." _

_I didn't give her an opportunity to ask. I took hold of her face and pulled her towards me, planting a firm kiss onto her lips before I'd even had a chance to really think about what it was I was doing. But then as I stop for a moment I see her pull her head back slightly, away from mine, with a questioning look on her face, and for a moment I'm terrified. What the fuck have I just done? Did I seriously just kiss her? Nicki; my colleague, my female colleague. What the hell was I thinking? Oh shit... She's going to put a complaint in, sexual harassment; I'll be the laughing stock of the whole school. She's going to think I'm a complete weirdo, just like... No wait. Before I had a chance to freak out any more I realised that her face had moved back closer to mine again, and she was slowly, very slowly, starting to lean in for another kiss. As I leant towards her she suddenly sped up and in micro seconds her lips were on mine again, and I felt, rather than saw her, rise up from the desk she was sitting on. The tempo of the kiss increased and I had my hand on the back of her neck, holding her as close to me as I could until..._

_"I can't do this Nicki, I'm sorry I just can't." _

_And with that I'm running, I'm running out of the room, out of the building, towards my car. I can hear her chasing behind me and I know that with her army training and my heels if she wanted to she could catch up with me. But she won't. And she doesn't. I slam my car door on the outside world and start the engine, feeling tears start to fall down my face as I drive quickly away. _

**_Nicki_**

_What the bloody hell was that about? One minute we were talking, then we were kissing, and the next she was running. There wasn't enough time between the three things for me to even catch my breath. There was time now though I thought to myself as I watched her car drive away. Even if I'd wanted to go after her at this point I was totally stumped. By the time I'd reached my own car which incidentally couldn't go nearly as quickly as hers, she'd have been well out of my sight. And it wasn't as though I actually knew where she lived. _

_I could have gone back inside, back to her office. I needed to, the rest of my stuff was still scattered around where I'd never gotten a chance to get it all together – hardly surprising after the day I'd had. But for now all I could do was sit. And so I did; on the floor, in the middle of the car park. If anyone had seen me they'd have thought I'd totally lost it. If truth be told it seemed that way anyway. I'd just kissed my boss for god's sake. Well I mean technically she'd kissed me first but... I definitely participated. And I had been the one that had started the ball rolling with all that silly shit about wanting to prove myself to her. I mean I had... wanted to prove myself to her that is, but why the fuck did I feel the need to tell her that? _

_My heart was still racing. Partly from the kiss and partly from what had happened straight after. It just... completely evaded any kind of sense. She had definitely kissed me first, and there had been plenty of time before we kissed again for her to realise it was a mistake and make a bolt for it before we REALLY started to kiss. So what did it all mean? Had she changed her mind after all that, suddenly realising that kissing me wasn't what she wanted. Because I was her colleague, because I was a girl... just because I was me and she didn't find me as attractive as she'd thought? Or had she just run scared. _

_Either way it was a pretty shitty thing to do, I thought to myself. It wasn't like I wasn't going through all the same stuff as she was right now. I had just kissed my boss, my female boss. I was pretty freaked out myself, but at least I hadn't made a run for it and left her standing staring after me. _

_Groaning I pulled myself up from the floor knowing that I couldn't sit there all night. I made my way back to her office to get all of my stuff together. I'd been about to head out for the second time when I heard my phone go off. _

_I'm sorry. Lorraine x_

_I shoved my phone back in my pocket and followed her path out of the building to my own car. Sitting down and throwing my stuff onto the seat next to me I caught a glance of myself in the mirror. My face was red and there were wet streaks lining my face. _

_Okay, so maybe this was all hitting me a little bit harder than I thought. _


	2. Chapter 2

_You have no idea how much it made me smile when I looked and saw this had 4 reviews. (Although I don't seem to be getting email notifications... any idea how to do that guys?) Honestly it means so much that you're reading this and replying. And please don't think I've forgotten all the wonderful people that have favourited this/me and that have followed this/me. You are beyond amazing and I love you all._

_So anyway here's part two. Again please excuse the language, I don't normally swear but I just feel like these are both two characters who pre watershed show aside, probably would._

_Oh and who else is excited for Thursday?! _

_Hope you enjoy chapter two. x_

_Chapter 2_

**_Lorraine _**

_Waking up in a pile of your own vomit has to be one of the most disgusting things to happen to you, and it was an indignity that I'd never ever had to face. That was until now. _

_Groaning I looked around the room for any clue as to what exactly had happened here last night. The last thing I remember was driving away from the school in floods of tears, nearly crashing my car, finally getting home, downing a shot of vodka, texting Nicki with what had to be the most inadequate apology ever, and then opening a bottle of wine. Then another... and then another. I had no idea where to even begin but the bed was probably the first thing I should deal with. Carefully I sat up and after dragging myself to my feet I slowly managed to strip the bed back to just the mattress. Unfortunately the effort of moving that much had caused a second burst of sickness and slinging the sheets into a pile in the corner of the room I raced into the bathroom. _

_An hour later and I was finally ready to leave, although not perhaps in the best state despite the five glasses of water and cup of coffee. In fact all they'd done is made me really need to pee. After a quick race to the toilet I was finally ready to head out of the door when it occurred to me that I hadn't checked my phone this morning when I'd thrown it, along with its charger, into my bag. Pulling it back out I looked, almost afraid of what I might see. I let out a small groan. No text, no missed calls, nothing. I really had managed to royally fuck it up the night before hadn't I?_

_The drive to school felt like it went on forever. Then just to add to the awfulness of my day on my way in I'd bumped into Michael and Christine. No offence to them but the last thing you want to see when your own love life's going to shit is those two making out in a car park. I mean let's be honest it's puke worthy at the best of times, let alone after what I'd done the night before. I didn't really need a graphic reminder of kissing on the school premises. _

_I eventually managed to make my way to the office and sitting down I put my head in my hands and groaned again. I didn't remember much of last night once I'd arrived back at my flat, and I have no idea what conclusion I'd come to at the time, but sitting there now I knew I really needed to sort out my head and work out what was going on in it right now. _

_A knock at the door. _

_"Come in." _

_I barely even looked up until whoever it was that had just come into the room didn't talk. Raising my head from my desk I immediately met a pair of brown eyes that were looking pretty intensely into mine. "Lorraine." _

_"Nicki" I had no idea why we were saying each other's names, but at least we were saying something which was better than the awkward silence that followed. For over a minute neither of us spoke before she eventually took control... sort of. _

_"Look Lorraine, I... I'm sorry if I was out of place last night okay? I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable." _

_The look of guilt on her face made ME feel sick with guilt. This was so unfair on her, she hadn't done anything wrong. "No Nicki I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me, I just completely panicked and... Please can we just forget last night happened? You're such a good friend to me and I don't want to jeopardise that." Why was I lying? Why was I pretending that I wanted to be friends when really that was the last thing I wanted? _

_But you have to hand it to Nicki, what I said must have hurt her, at least a little bit, but she didn't exactly let it show very much. I'd been totally cold with her after practically snogging her face off and all she did was nod and then walk back out again. _

**_Nicki_**

_Walking away from the office this time I felt it before I saw it. Ducking into the nearest staff toilets I locked myself in a cubicle while I pulled it together. Why was she doing this? I knew there was more to this than she was letting on, there was a reason that she had gone from hot to cold so quickly, but I hadn't got the faintest idea how to get her to open up about it. _

_Eventually I was in a reasonable enough state to go and face the rest of the school, and so for the rest of the day I busied myself with work, avoiding Lorraine at all costs, something that wasn't all that difficult when she appeared to have gone into hiding. _

_It was only when the school bell went at the end of the day that we saw each other again. I'd been walking down the corridor where her office was situated at the exact same moment that she'd been leaving it and as neither of us were looking where we were going it resulted in an almighty crash as my folders dropped to the floor and an almighty yelp from Lorraine. I initially put it down to the shock of us colliding and busied myself with picking up my folders off the floor, not wanting to look her in the eyes in case my face betrayed my emotions. It was only when I heard a faint whimpering from above me that I forced myself to look up and realised that when we'd hit each other I hadn't been the only one with something in my hands. Lorraine had apparently been making her way out of the office with a steaming hot coffee, one that she was now wearing. _

_"Oh god sweetheart" I ushered her back into the office and taking the cup firmly out of her hands realised that she was still completely frozen in shock. I knew one of the worse things to do if you'd poured boiling liquid onto yourself was to stay in the clothes soaked in them. That was one way to almost guarantee that you'd get at least second degree burns. Realising that there was no point instructing her I quickly began to unbutton her shirt. _

_"What are you..."_

"Shhhh" I whispered gently as I pulled her shirt off (with a little resistance but not much) and revealed the real extent of the damage. "Shit Lorraine I can't believe you were just standing there while the coffee was burning your skin." I dragged her over to the sink, made the water as cold as I possibly could and then dropped a tea towel into it. Taking it back out I draped it over the front of her before leading her to the nearest chair and sitting her down in it. Once I knew she was sitting and the towel was covering as much of the burnt skin as possible I went on a hunt for the first aid kit and bringing out a special cream gently peeled back the towel from her chest, getting an almighty shock when I discovered some of her skin peeling off under it.

_"Oh god, Lorraine I'm going to call an ambulance we need to get you to hospital."_

_"I don't want to go to hospital."_

_"But you..."_

_"I don't want to go to hospital." _

_She's spoken louder the second time, so much so that I'd taken a step back. "I... Lorraine please, those burns are pretty severe, it's not something that I can deal with in an office with a first aid kit. You need proper medical attention."_

_"No." _

_I signed and sat down on the desk next to her. "Sweetheart you must be in pain, why won't you go and get it dealt with properly? Is this because of us? I don't have to come with you, you can go on your own or I'll phone someone else if that's what you want?"_

_"That's not what I want."_

_"Christ Lorraine you're not really giving me much to work with here are you?" When I got no response at all this time I decided to try a different tact. "Look if you're not going to let me get you to a hospital are you at least going to let me do what I can from here."_

_A small nod. _

_And I have to give it to her, although she flinched slightly the first time I went to touch her she did actually sit there and let me rub ointment over every part of her that I could get to. _

_"Is it going to scar?" Came a weak voice that I could barely even believe was coming from the strong, feisty business woman in front of me._

_"I don't know darling, you certainly aren't helping yourself by not going to hospital, but I'm doing the best I can." I can see there are burns underneath where her bra's covering. I'd take that off too but it really doesn't seem appropriate and I have a feeling it's more than she'll allow. So after rubbing all the ointment into her skin I took my jacket off and draped it round her shoulders. "You can't drive in this state so you're going to have to let me drop you home." _

_All I got was another nod but that was enough for me to lead her out to my car. I wondered if I should try and make conversation but I didn't really know what to say and it seemed pointless when I wasn't getting any response back, so instead I let us drift into an awkward silence; one that was only interrupted by the occasional direction from the blond woman next to me. After a while we reached a large apartment building and I was given instructions about where to park. Once I'd put the car where she'd told me I got out and let her out of the passenger's seat. _

_"So... here we are." I didn't really know what else to say and as she turned and started walking towards her door for a moment I thought she wasn't even going to acknowledge me again. _

_But then, when I was least expecting it, a small voice called out from a few feet away. "Are you coming in then?" _


	3. Chapter 3

_Okay so I um... OMFG DID YOU SEE THOSE SPOILERS? _

_I really feel like I should do a proper introduction to this but I'm having some trouble typing. And thinking. And breathing. _

_So here's chapter 3, unedited, but here. _

_And thank you again to all the wonderful people that have favourited, commented etc. (Although for some reason I'm getting emails about reviews that aren't showing up... hmm...?)_

_xxxx_

_Chapter 3_

**_Lorraine_**

_I didn't look around; instead I let myself into the building before hesitating to see if I was being followed. I was. Trying not to whimper in pain I began walking up the stairs, letting Nicki follow a couple of feet behind me at all times. Once we reached the door of my apartment I took out my key and let us both in, shutting the door behind her and feeling tears start to trickle down my face as the pain, both emotional and physical, became too much. I turned away, not wanting Nicki to see me cry, hating that I was being so weak. _

_I knew that I wasn't fooling her though. She knew why I wouldn't look at her and I was half expecting her to force me to but she didn't. Instead I felt strong arms around me, being careful to stay behind my back and allow me to wipe the tears away privately without my face being seen. I let myself be led to the sofa and I even let her remove her jacket from me so that she could once again examine the damage the coffee had done. I had managed to stop myself crying but looking down at the state of myself I felt a little sob escape. Before I'd even had a chance to cover my face Nicki had buried it into her shoulder, respecting that I didn't want her to see my face while I wept, but at the same time wanting to offer me the comfort that she knew I needed. _

_And that's how we remained for over five minutes, me crying into her shoulder while she just held onto me. When we did move it was because she had prised me off to start reapplying the ointment to my skin. _

_"Look at the state of me." I didn't want to look down again, I couldn't. _

_"I'm doing my best sweetheart I promise." I looked down at her face and she looked up at mine, hesitating for a moment, clearly wanting to say something but not being quite sure how to do it. _

_"I need to take this off love, otherwise I can't treat the burns underneath it." She tugged gently at my bra strap. I shook my head fiercely but she just hushed me again and then sliding her right hand behind my back undid the catch. She hadn't been looking for permission, she just wanted me to know what she was about to do. _

_I felt it drop to the floor and my whole face burned red. I felt careful hands start to run along the edges of my breast while she examined the burns on them. I knew they were worse than everywhere else. Firstly because of the pain and secondly because I knew what she'd said earlier was right and that really she should have taken it off at the time rather than letting the burning hot liquid continue to seep onto my skin. But although she'd push me to a point because she knew that she knew best when it came to injuries like this, she obviously didn't want to push too far. She wanted to respect my boundaries as much as she could. I felt my eyes fill up with tears again and really hoped she was too preoccupied with the burns to notice. _

_Feeling fingers become closer and closer to the centre of my right breast my entire body tensed up and I felt her stop for a moment. Still afraid to look down I turned my head to face the other way and spoke softly. "I'm sorry." _

_"You've got nothing to be sorry for, I'm the one that bumped into you. I'm so sorry Lorraine." _

_I looked down again and saw that she like me had tears in her eyes. It was amazing, the two women in the entire work place least likely to cry and here we were, both sat blubbing like babies. "Hey don't you start getting upset, I'm relying on you to help me hold it together." I smiled. It was the first time since the kiss that I had and it felt pretty good. That was until my eyes moved back down to the skin newly revealed by the removal of my bra. _

_I turned my head to the side and threw up. _

**_Nicki_**

_It didn't take a second to locate a cloth and wipe the vomit off the leather sofa. It took a lot longer however to try and calm down the blond sitting next to me. I did once again try to convince her that the hospital was the best place for her but despite her horror at the severity of her injuries she was still not going to be persuaded to get help elsewhere. So instead I took her hand and made her look me straight in the eyes. "I'm not going to lie to you Lorraine, you are almost definitely going to have some scaring. But I promise you that it won't look as bad as it does now. Scars fade over time so for a while it might be pretty bad but over the next few months the skin will change and it won't be as noticeable." _

_She didn't say anything but the crying got quieter and less hysterical so I guess it was of some comfort to her. _

_Turning my attention back to her I rubbed another layer of ointment onto all of the burnt skin, panicking slightly at the speed in which it was being absorbed into the skin, but a little pleased that although she'd flinched when I'd started to rub the cream into her breasts, she hadn't stopped me. At least we were making some progress and she was at least willing to let me treat her even if she wasn't very happy about it. Once her skin was coated again I paused for a moment, knowing this was probably the most inappropriate time to address the issue of us, but not feeling comfortable going on with the uncertainty of where we stood. _

_"I... I don't want us to be friends."_

_"No?" She looked surprised and hurt as she stared up at me. _

_"No. I know for you the kiss last night was just a mistake but for me... for me it actually meant something." _

_For one moment I thought she was going to hit me or start crying again; but then she just nodded. "I don't want us to just be friends either. But this... it's not so easy for me as it is for you."_

_"You think this is easy for me?" I questioned. _

_"No but..." she trailed off. I wanted to push her but I could see the look of pain in her eyes and knew this wasn't the time. I hesitated for a moment. _

_"So where does this leave us?" It was selfish really, to push her when she was so fragile, but I wanted to... I needed to know. I had surprised myself with my sudden honesty about my feelings for her, frightened myself even. But somehow I'd known, in that moment, that she wouldn't mind. That my feelings for her wouldn't freak her out or upset her. It was her feelings for me that were the issue, not the other way around. So I'd said it, at the wrong time, in the wrong place, and probably in the wrong way; but my cards were on the table now. It was her turn to make a decision. _

_"Well I don't let anyone see me topless until at least the third date, so I guess that this" she looked down at the fact her chest was still bare "means we've got to at least have a third date." _

_A little relieved to see a small smile on her face I responded "just to be clear, did last night count, does this? Because if they do then I'm not sure I want a third one. Jilted mid kiss, playing nurse... I've gotta be honest with you Lorraine none of those things are really my idea of a good date." _

_"True... Well let me take you out properly then. As a thank you for letting me jilt you and then dealing with all this." She looked around the room that was littered with creams and ointments as well as her clothes and the smell of sick. _

_I let myself smile properly now "that sounds perfect." _

_We sit and smile at one another for a few minutes, comfortable now in each other's company. Unfortunately I know I have to ruin the moment. "Lorraine, I need to put some more cream on you but... there's one part of you that I've avoided up until now because I didn't want to make you any more uncomfortable but that I really need to address unless you want some seriously bad scarring." I signalled to the small patches of darker skin in the centre of her breasts. She shook her head. _

_"I'll do that bit myself." _

_I know that it's never going to work, the pain there will be far too intense for her to manage to rub it in while tolerating, but I know I have to let her try. She carefully took the cream away from me and I politely averted my eyes despite having seen all of her for the past half an hour or more. It just seemed courteous. I knew she'd last longer than most people would just because of her stubbornness. But sure enough after a few seconds I heard a small squeal of pain and heard a clatter as she knocked the pot of cream to the floor and it exploded over her very expensive looking carpet. Leaning over to try and pick it up and repair some of the damage there was another crash and off went a bottle of ointment this time. I could see the tears trickling down her cheeks again, partly out of pain, partly from sheer frustration, and decided it was time I stepped in. _

_I carefully moved her back onto the sofa and then set about picking up pots from the floor and trying to clean up as much of the cream as I could. I sat and rubbed away at it with a cloth for a few minutes until I was satisfied that there wouldn't be a mark left once it had dried, and then sat myself back next to her on the sofa. Throughout the entire time that I'd been cleaning she'd just sat watching me in silence. It was only now as I returned to her side that she spoke. _

_"I'm so sorry about your cream." _

_I turned to her in surprise. "What for? Accidents happen and it was only some cream. I've got plenty." _

_A weak smile was sent in my direction. "And thank you so much for cleaning up the carpet, I'm totally useless at the moment aren't I?" _

_"You're fine." And I meant it. Knowing it was best to do it now before her defences went back up again I quickly took another pot of ointment and starting from the top of her chest worked my way down coating her in as much cream as I could, knowing it was going to need all the help it could get to heal well. After doing my usual routine I then added some extra ointment to my fingers and very very gently touched it to the centre of her right breast. A small whimper but no resistance so I slowly started to spread the cream out; as my fingers moved across her I could feel her swell slightly beneath my fingers. "Well I guess at least we know it still works" I say with a small grin, looking up to see Lorraine blushing the darkest shade of red I'd ever seen. "I'm sorry" I say, tilting my head softly to the side, placing my hand on her bare arm. _

_"No, it's okay. Sorry it's just... it's been a long time since anyone's touched me that intimately. _

_I didn't know what to say that didn't involve asking any more personal questions so instead I moved to her left side, smiling as she reacted the same way again. _

_"Right there we go done, that should be enough now for tonight but you'll need to reapply it again in the morning. I'll leave everything behind for you when I go."_

_"Oh... okay." _

_She looked really upset. "Sorry... I... what's wrong?" _

_"Nothing" she said quickly before catching my eye and sighing. "I'm just... not very good at doing it myself really am I? I'm just a little bit nervous." _

_"Oh, did you want me to come back in the morning and do it for you?" _

_She shook her head. "No it wouldn't be fair to drag you out here again. I was only wondering, if maybe... you'd stay?" _

_My heart skipped a beat. "Of course, if you're sure?"_

_A shy smile. "If that wouldn't be putting you out too much?" _

_"No of course not, I have slept in far more uncomfortable places than your sofa. Right, let me go and get you a pyjama top, are there any specifically that you don't mind getting all the creams and ointments on?" _

_"No, anything will be fine, thank you." _

_I walked to her bedroom door "just make sure you get the matching bottoms as well" I hear called out from behind me. Chuckling I take a step inside her bedroom, and very quickly come crashing to the floor. _


	4. Chapter 4

I can't believe this is still getting reviews and support. Thank you so much. I know I really need to learn to edit but I'm posting this now quickly before work so once again you're going to have to take it as you find it.

Feeling the Lorikki a lot right now (anyone that follows my twitter will know this!) so there may be some other one parters starting to appear soon too if any if you guys are interested. :)

So without further ado...

_Chapter Four_

**_Lorraine_**

_The moment that I hear the crash I realise exactly what's happened and carefully get to my feet; moving awkwardly across the room; trying not to move my torso more than necessary. I'd been right. Without even seeing her the minute I realised that Nicki had gone over I knew. She'd tripped over the sheets. The sheets that I'd slung on the floor that morning and had completely forgotten about until now. I'd been so worried about making myself presentable that morning, I'd totally forgotten about the state of my bedroom. Oh god please don't let her be... _

_"Um Lorraine..." _

_"Nicki I'm so sorry." She was, she had somehow managed to fall on the exact spot where the sick had pooled. Looking at it made me feel a little queasy again so I turned my head to the side. "Look you go and shower and I'll... I'll shove the sheets in the wash." _

_I looked down, waiting to see the look of disgust and horror on her face, like she must have been able to see the humiliation on mine, but instead all I saw was a small grin. "Blimey it must have been a bad kiss if I made you this ill. Don't worry about the sheets, the last thing I need is you throwing up again because you've tried to do too much. Just go sit back on the sofa and I'll sort it when I'm out the shower." _

_"I can't let you do that." I felt the humiliation still burning in my face. It was bad enough to have gotten myself into that state, let alone to have someone else not only know but be covered in the evidence. "Oh god Nicki I really am sorry. I swear to you that I'm not normally like this."_

_"I know, you're normally totally controlled and organised and tidy and together. And I love that side of you. But I also love this side of you; it's far more real and quite frankly it scares the shit out of me less than the super boss part of you does. Now go and sit back down."_

_Normally I would resent being told what to do but I was starting to feel pretty bad again so I crossed back into the living room and sat myself back down on the chair. A few minutes later I heard soft footsteps on the floor behind me and turned to see the brunette standing there in nothing but one of my towels. "Oh... I um... sorry I should have... offered you something to change into."_

_Nicki looked down at herself and then back at me, clearly amused by the reaction that she was getting. "You're right this isn't very practical. If I try and clear up with this on it might just... drop."_

_For one moment I genuinely thought that she was going to drop the towel. But much to my disappointment she didn't. Instead she turned around, walked to my door, took my robe off it and shutting the door slightly so she could hide behind it said "you don't mind me borrowing this right?" My heart raced even more as she reappeared in my silky black robe that stopped mid thigh. If she wanted to prove to me that I felt something for her she really really knew how to do it. _

_"That's... No problem." _

_We probably could have made more conversation at that point but Nicki seemed to enjoy the silence now that she'd had her reaction so I allowed her to busy herself tidying everything up and making sure the washing was on. While she was doing this, now a little chilly and more aware than ever of my lack of clothes, I'd wrapped myself half in the throw. Obviously noticing this, the brunette disappeared into my bedroom and returned a minute or so later, with a matching cami and shorts sleep set in hot pink. She walked over to me and helped get the top over my head, and then turned around allowing me to slip out of my skirt and tights and into the bottoms. "I'm sure you picked the smallest pyjamas I own intentionally" I teased. Now I was dressed (all be it JUST) I felt more like my normal self again. _

_"Oh of course, I mean the less material the less material to get cream off. Why, were you doubting my perfectly innocent intentions?" She raised her eyebrows at me and I tried desperately to keep a straight face. _

_"No of course not, I was merely commenting on your logical and practical approach. It's what makes you perfect for the position as deputy head, and even more perfect for your role as my own personal nurse." _

_She laughed and sat back down next to me. I saw my robe slide up her thigh and could feel my heart nearly bursting out of my chest. I wanted to say something, anything, but for once in my life I was speechless, so instead I just sat there trying not to stare. _

**_Nikki_**

_I could feel eyes on me but decided to pretend that I couldn't. We'd agreed on a second date. Anything overly romantic at this point would have felt like taking advantage of her, and more than that I didn't want this to go too fast._

_In truth although I was hiding my panic a little better than Lorraine, I knew that was only because she was feeling emotional as a consequence of all of the chemicals that would be rushing through her body right now because of the burns. Watching her try and control where her eyes went I couldn't suppress either the slight amusement or the slight fear that was once again making its way to the surface. What are you doing Nikki, are you really sure about this? What happens if you get to the point where things get... more intimate, and then you can't go through with it? She'll hate you; and worse than that you'll hurt her. Or what if you can go through with it and she can't? How will you feel then? Is your boss really the right person to be experimenting with? Not that this was just an experiment to her. To Nikki this was something serious, and her feelings for Lorraine were genuine. She was just having some problems with trusting her own emotions right now. _

_"Is something wrong?" _

_Nikki looked up at the blond. "No, sorry, I was just thinking."_

_"What about?" Lorraine questioned, smiling softly back at her. _

_Not sure what to do but deciding to lead with the truth the brunette carefully began to reply. "Us... Not in a bad way" she added quickly seeing the look of worry on Lorraine's face "just in a 'neither of us really know what we're doing' sort of way." _

_Lorraine looked away from her for a moment and Nikki was scared that she'd said too much. When the younger woman looked back at her she looked torn, as though there was so much she wanted, needed even, to say, but that she couldn't quite find the words – or even decide if she should say anything at all. After a moment's pause, and seconds before Nikki was going to speak just to fill the silence, Lorraine finally began to talk. "I... Look there are some things we need to talk about. Properly talk about. Because I need you to know certain stuff about me before we take this any further, just... just in case. Because I've been in relationships before that have gone wrong because of it, and I can't do that again. Not to myself, and certainly not to you. I really care about you Nikki and I really want this to become something. But there are things about me you're going to have to accept and if you can't then there can't ever be an us, for both of our sakes."_

_I nodded my head slowly, not really sure what else to do. It was a pretty ominous thing to say at this point but I knew I had to trust her. "Of course; maybe over dinner when we go on our first proper date?" _

_"Maybe" was the non committal response I got before she went back to staring into space. Deciding that this was a good time to retire for the night I stood up. "Right come on you let's get you into bed shall we?" _

_"I'm a big girl Nikki, I can put myself to bed you know." She was smiling, teasing me, but I could tell that it was just to hide the fact that her mind was still elsewhere. _

_"I'm not doubting that but I'm just about done with cleaning up sick for tonight, so I fully intend to get you into bed in a way that's not going to cause you excruciating amounts of pain." _

_"Alright then." _

_Putting my arm around her I helped her walk to her own bedroom and was about to put her into bed when she stopped. "No sorry Nikki, I need to use the bathroom before I go to bed."_

_"Want a hand?" I was half serious, half mocking her. _

_"You know what, I think I can do this bit alright on my own." _

_I waited outside the door of her ensuite for a minute until she came back out, still walking awkwardly so as to not stretch the skin on her chest. "You want any pain killers?"_

_"Yeah, thanks." _

_I helped her into bed and then went to grab some codeine and a glass of water. By the time I got back she was already asleep. Laughing quietly I put both the glass and the pills down on her bedside table so that it was there if she woke up in the night, and then I made my way back onto the sofa, and curled up under the throw that she'd left there earlier that evening. _


	5. Chapter 5

ASDFGHJKL OMG I AM STILL DYING RIGHT NOW. "I'm not willing to put my heart on the line so you get practice at being a human being." Tomorrow's episode is going to break me. No, scrap that. I am already broken. #dies

Anyway just a short chapter today, it's more to set up the next part than to do anything exciting itself. But if it makes you all feel any better there's a LOT of drama in the next chapter so yeah... Just hold your horses for one more part.

Also I don't know how frequently you guys want this updated? I'm normally a couple of chapters ahead with my writing so I can update it pretty much whenever. But I don't want to upload too often, or not upload enough. Answers on a postcard. Or in a comment. Whatever works for you.

So anyway chapter 5...

_Chapter Five_

**_Lorraine_**

_It had been odd waking up the following morning and remembering everything that had happened the night before. Not much was said as we both got ready for work, taking it in turns in the shower, only really interacting when I realised as we didn't have time to go home she was going to need to borrow some clothes off me. At least we were roughly the same size, although she was a little taller and broader. The bigger issue was how different our styles were, but eventually we found a plain black pair of work trousers and a plain shirt that she could just about pass off as her own and that she was willing to wear in public. (Which was more than she agreed to with the fitted dress I picked out for her at one point.) Even when she'd had to cover my front in cream again, despite the physical intimacy of it the emotional intensity that we'd had the night before was gone. I if anything felt more awkward, because at least the night before I'd been distracted by my humiliation at falling apart like that; and although she was still very gentle and careful, there was none of the awkward flirting we'd shared the night before, and she wasn't quite as caring as she'd been a few hours earlier. _

_In fact the car journey passed in pretty much the same way. It wasn't that we were being off with each other exactly, more that all the boundaries that had been dropped last night were now back in place – and then some. For the entire day we were very professional and courteous. She'd dropped in on me at lunch to check that I was okay and that I didn't need more ointment, but once I'd assured her I would last until after work she just walked out without another word. _

_Feeling a little empty I tried to fill my day with work, but I had to admit, it didn't fill the gap like it normally did. Eventually the end of the school day rolled around and when Nikki appeared at my door to come and reapply the cream for me, I knew something had to be said. _

_"Nik, what's going on? With us I mean. Last night... It was the most humiliating night of my life. But it was also... special. I've never had someone care for me like that before. But today it's like... we've gone from feeling too much for each other to nothing at all. I've had more intimate car journey's with Christine. And yes I have had to pick her up before because of the whole selling car to pay for fine thing." _

_A small smile, and Nikki slowly opened her mouth to speak. "Sorry, I didn't mean to be cold with you. I just... I knew you'd opened yourself up a lot last night and I know that like me, it isn't easy for you to do that. So I didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable this morning by being... I don't know. You get what I mean though don't you?"_

_I nodded and went to speak but she wasn't done. _

_"And secondly I know what this school means to you, and I know that if this is going to work then we need to have certain boundaries. I just wanted to show you that despite what's happening with us I can still be professional and I know that at work, you're the boss. We can't be overly familiar with each other or all over each other because that just isn't going to work. I just... I think when you woke up and you didn't really say anything about last night I thought you might have regretted it so I guess I went too far in the other direction with giving you space and being professional." _

_I took a second to absorb everything that she'd just said and then after thinking about my answer replied. "Look firstly I'm sorry if I was weird with you too this morning. Like you this whole thing is really unfamiliar to me so I guess I just freaked out a bit and shut down. And secondly I really appreciate that you respect me so much and that you're so keen to stay within my boundaries, although you weren't quite so worried last night when you were touching me up." I said the last sentence teasingly and with a grin. I received one back and then Nikki went to speak but I placed my finger on her lips to silence her so I could finish. "I know I know, medical purposes only. But seriously, I really appreciate all of that but you don't have to do it okay? At work, yeah sure, keep a professional distance. And I have to do the same. But in the mornings before that, on the drive to work, just be yourself. I don't want this to be awkward and weird every morning we wake up together on a school night." I saw her jaw drop slightly. "Because yes at some point I hope to wake up next to you, and if we have work that morning I don't want you to suddenly go all weird and robotic on me okay? And I don't want to do that to you either so if I start just... I don't know. Hit me or something." _

_She laughed and I joined in, feeling much better and much more at ease now we'd both relaxed a little. "Right, why don't you drop me home to get ready, then you can go home and sort yourself out, and we'll meet back at mine at say, 7? I'll make sure a table's reserved at my favourite restaurant and we can go and have that meal I promised you. What do you say?"_

_"I say that would be perfect." _

_"Alright, in that case I think it's time these stupid bloody burns have some more stuff on them. But hey, no groping this time." _

_She hit me playfully on the arm and then grabbed her first aid kit out of her bag. _

**_Nikki_**

_Standing at the door I started to regret my choice of outfit. Cropped dark grey smart trousers and a white blouse doesn't seem really appropriate when Lorraine is no doubt dressed to the nines in a designer dress and heels looking like she's just walked straight off of a catwalk. Although in my defence I am wearing my only pair of heels. I go to knock but before I've even had a chance the door swings open and my jaw drops. I wasn't wrong about the outfit. "Wow..." _

_"I could say the same" came the response from the blond woman in front of me. "Although since when did you even OWN a pair of heels, let alone wear them?" _

_I looked down at my feet and then back up at her trying to hide my disappointment. "You don't like them?"_

_"To the contrary, I love them. Just try not to land on your face yeah, I don't think we can cope with any more injuries." _

_I smiled and shook my head. "That's not a promise I can make I'm afraid, but I'll do my best. So are we off now?" _

_"Yep, I'd booked us this table at the most beautiful restaurant but... I wasn't sure if it would be your cup of tea. So I decided to take you somewhere else. Although now I'm starting to regret it a bit and wish I'd stuck to my guns."_

_"I'm sure wherever it is it'll be perfect." I nearly added 'just because I'm with you' or something equally as soppy, but I stopped myself just in time. Come on Nikki let's not be the kind of person you normally mock. _

_"Great, well do you want to go in my car or yours?" _

_"I don't mind driving, and to be honest Lorraine I don't think you're quite up to it yet."_

_"Possibly not. Okay then great, but I'm not telling you where we're going I'm just going to give you directions." _

_We walked to my car; Lorraine was still going pretty slowly but doing a little better than the night before. By the time we'd got there though I was grateful for the fact that I'd parked so close to her front door. _

_The car journey went pretty quickly with the whole time spent with me being given directions, but twenty minutes after leaving her house we'd got there. I couldn't help but grin as the younger woman began to speak. _

_"So... Did I do okay?" _

_I laughed as she nodded towards what had to be the poshest steak house I'd ever seen. "You did perfectly. Come on then, are we going in?" _


	6. Chapter 6

Okay guys this may be a little soon because it's only like 12 hours after the last part, but as the previous bit was pretty short and not much happened, and also because I have a crazy day tomorrow and Friday and don't know when I'll get another chance to post, I decided to upload this now. Hope no one minds.

Anyway this is a bit longer and stuff ACTUALLY happens so I hope you all... Enjoy doesn't seem the appropriate word but you all know what I mean.

Please note: Sensitive topics such as rape come up in this chapter. It's DEFINITELY a T/M part so please, if that will upset or offend you, stop reading now! I've tried to make sure it isn't graphic in any way whatsoever, but even so I don't want anyone to read something they'd rather not.

Hope you all enjoy Waterloo Road tomorrow evening and that everyone's heart and soul survives.

Chelsey xxx

P.s. My twitter's hugsandskittles for anyone that's interested.

_Chapter Six_

**_Lorraine_**

_Once we'd been seated I took a quick look around. It wasn't that I was embarrassed of Nikki but the whole point of me picking somewhere in the opposite direction to school was that I wanted us to both be able to relax without having to worry who saw us together. Once I'd confirmed it was just us I turned my head back to Nikki who was watching me carefully. Knowing how bad what I'd done must look to her I opened my mouth to explain but she shushed me. _

_"You don't need to explain, I know it'll be easier to just be ourselves if we're away from the prying eyes of anyone we might know." She smiled at me and I felt immediately more relaxed. I'd been worried so much about everything to do with this date, yet somehow the moment I was with her all of those worries slipped away. She obviously wasn't going to be jumping on me over every little thing, she actually GETS me, and more than that she thinks like me so there wasn't going to be any awkward misunderstandings. _

_We both ordered starters and as the waiter walked away I turned back to her and saw her staring at me pretty intently. Feeling self conscious I asked "Have I got something on my face?" before quickly scrabbling through my handbag desperately trying to hunt down my mirror. Seconds later though I felt a hand on my arm and I looked back up. _

_"No love, there's nothing on your face." _

_I stared at her, waiting for an explanation. _

_"I just... I was wondering whether you were ready to talk to me. About whatever it is you need to say before we can properly be an 'us'."_

_I paused. I wasn't, not even close. But I knew that I'd have to do it, and sooner rather than later. This couldn't go on much longer without the truth, and for some reason, despite the fact we'd technically only just started our first date, I felt like I owed it to her. But this wasn't the time, not yet. "I don't think I'm ever going to be ready. But maybe if you come back to mine for a drink later... we'll see." I couldn't keep up the eye contact any longer and so busied myself with putting my handbag back onto the floor._

_"Of course, no pressure" and a smile was sent across the table._

_And I smiled back, because I knew she'd meant it. _

_Dinner was actually a fairly formal affair, I knew we both had a lot on our minds again so as nice as it was to just get to spend some time together and have our first official date, I was also a little relieved when it was over. We'd mostly talked about work and to be honest if we'd stayed much longer we probably would have struggled to keep conversation flowing as easily. Neither of us wanted to get into too much personal chat when we were both only too aware that there was something hanging over us. We both tried to pretend it wasn't there, but after paying up I knew I needed to invite her in because until I'd got this out of the way our relationship had hit almost a stand still. _

_Getting into the car she thanked me again for dinner. _

_"Seriously you should have let me pay half."_

_Trying to lighten the mood I laughed and replied "sweetheart don't take this the wrong way but you couldn't have afforded half." _

_"It's okay I know how expensive your taste is, I brought my credit card." She looked away from the road for a second to smirk at me._

_"And the limit of that is over £2000?" _

_Her jaw dropped. "You're not seriously telling me half the bill was over £2000? That's more than my house bills for the next two months. Including rent!"_

_"And that Nikki, is why I paid." I said with a small grin. _

_"I... You are kidding right? How the hell did steak cost that much? I mean don't get me wrong it was lovely, and I really appreciate it, but... Look I don't mean to be rude but - how much did it all cost then?"_

_"Well the meal itself was just over £100, but the bottle of champagne I had brought in specially cost about four and a half thousand pounds." I had to admit as scared as I was about what I was facing that evening, even I couldn't help but enjoy watching the look of horror on her face at this point._

_"You aren't kidding are you?" She said, jaw almost through the bottom of the car. _

_"Nope" I replied, watching her shake her head. _

_"Lorraine sweets, you didn't have to do that. Honestly I wouldn't have cared if we'd had a £10 bottle of wine." _

_"I know but it's more fun that way." I replied, giggling slightly at her expression as she pulled up outside my apartment. "Right here we are, um... would you maybe... like to come in for a bit?"_

_She nodded, the tense atmosphere reappearing. _

_Once inside I poured us both a glass of wine (she'd requested lager at which point I'd had to admit I didn't even have any beer in) and we both sat on the sofa. She'd put herself just off centre but I'd shuffled as far over to the edge as I could. _

_We both took a couple of sips of the wine and even without looking at her I could feel her eyes on me and forced myself to start to speak. Shaking slightly I put the glass down on the coffee table in front of me and began. There was no point messing about anymore. I was either going to do this or not, and if I was there was no point playing around for the next half an hour or so with polite niceties. _

_"I... when I was younger I knew I was more into girls than I was guys. But up until the age of maybe seventeen or eighteen I was too scared to explore it. Instead I had a few high school boyfriends, well more than a few actually as Michael still delights in telling everyone. I was known as a bit of a heartbreaker. Because of who I am I attracted a few of the school's bad boys. The sort of boys that went around screwing girls just for the fun of it. That took great delight in breaking heart after heart. And I broke theirs. Not all of them mind, some weren't that fussed. But there were a few that I think actually genuinely liked me and so were a bit gutted when I broke it up just as it started to get a bit more serious. Everyone thought I was just a first class bitch but the truth was every time we got close... physically. I just couldn't go through with it. After a couple of pretty awkward experiences in clubs at about 14 and 15 where I did quite a few quick dashes out of windows so as to not lose face, I learnt to just break things off after a couple of weeks so it didn't seem odd that I wouldn't go through with anything. I mean everyone thought I was a total slut because none of the guys wanted to admit that they hadn't properly pulled me so all of them used to make out we'd gone the whole way. But it meant that I never got caught out because everyone just assumed I'd had half the school." _

_There was a pause where I looked up at Nikki, wanting to see how she was taking things so far. Her face was completely straight and for the life of me I couldn't detect any hint of emotion or reaction on it. The only way that I knew she'd even been listening was that she'd moved along the sofa, closing the carefully measured distance between us. _

_"Anyway it got to the point just after finishing school that I knew if I ever wanted to have a real relationship I was going to have to give this whole girl thing a go. So in secret I started seeing this woman. She was beautiful. Slim, long hair, fairly tall, beautiful eyes. God I loved her. We were together for about three months when she finally confronted me about the fact that she'd not had anything more than a goodnight kiss. I knew that I COULD go the whole way with her. Unlike all the guys the thought of being with her didn't freak me out, at least not in that way. But the thing was by this point I was nineteen and still a virgin, something that no one other than me knew. And as much as I wanted to be with her I knew there was no way that my inexperience wasn't going to show, and I didn't think I could stand the humiliation of being really shit and having to admit it was because at the age of nineteen I'd never actually been with anyone before. So anyway it came to this night, we were both dressed up and had been on a night out. She'd come back to my place at about three in the morning and I'd told her if she wanted she could stay on the sofa. And this was a big thing for me. I'd never let anyone stay the night before. But rather than appreciating this she just went off at me for being a tease. How come I wouldn't go with her but I had with all the guys in high school. It got to the point and she was genuinely starting to scare me. As slim as she was she was also a lot taller and stronger than me, and a good few years older. So I asked her to leave. I... I can't really remember exactly what happened, it's a bit of a blur and to be honest I've tried very hard ever since then to block it out." I could feel tears prickling up behind my eyes and nearly stopped. But then I felt a hand come to rest on mine and I knew that I had to find the strength, somewhere, anywhere, to tell Nikki something I'd never told anyone before. Speaking as quickly as I could, just to get it out, I continued. "But before I even knew what was going on my dress was ripped and on the floor and I was on my back having my underwear torn off me and... she raped me." _

_The last three words were barely above a whisper but said with no emotion. Because the truth was I had very little emotion left about it anymore, I just felt numb. I'd spent the past nearly 20 years breaking my heart over it on a regular basis. Reliving it over and over again, the details more blurred and confused every time. Night after night I'd sit tears streaming down my face, scared to death because I thought I'd heard a noise at the door. So now when it came to saying it to Nikki I couldn't be anything other than completely blunt about it. _

_I felt her fingers softly start to massage the back of my hand. I knew she didn't want to push too much physical contact at the moment but at the same time wanted me to know I wasn't alone. And I appreciated that. Not least because actually I wasn't done. _

_"She left that night and I never saw her again. Never said a word. Never reported it. Nothing. But I knew from that moment on that I could never be with another woman again. So I went back to what I did in high school. Dating guys, letting them get close, then pushing them away the moment they wanted anything a little more intimate. In fact there was only ever one guy that it nearly happened for with me. An older man; someone I trusted and loved. Maybe not as I'd loved her all those years ago, but that I loved in a different way. And although there was never the same level of attraction between us that I'd had for women, I knew that actually I could go all the way with him. We'd known each other when I was a teenager and when we met up again a few years later when I was mid to late twenties we became friends. And eventually we started dating, and eventually I knew it was the time to tell him. I could never tell him about what happened to me, but I knew I was comfortable enough to admit that I'd never actually gone the whole way before. And so I did. He was a perfect gentleman, said it didn't matter and that I could take my time; said that he loved me just the same. Except a week and a half later I woke up and he was gone. He just disappeared. It wasn't until I knew I needed him for my vision of the school that I ever even tried to track him down. And me and Michael, we've been working together now for what, just over a year? And I swear to you Nik it's like it never even happened. Like the whole six months we were together never even existed. He's exactly as he always was with me, polite, kind, gentlemanly. But he has never once acknowledged that after that first night I let him stay over he sneaked out in the middle of the night. I guess he realised sleeping next to me that actually he wasn't willing to wait. Maybe he thought I was a tease too, permitting him to come into my bed but not to be with me. I honestly don't know. All I know is that after that I didn't even bother with relationships anymore. There was no point. I knew I'd never be able to be with another woman after what happened, but I also knew that my one proper chance at being with a man didn't work because of my lack of experience, something that I couldn't just magically change." _

_I leant forwards and took my wine glass off the table, taking a sip and continuing, unable to even look at Nikki anymore, humiliation and fear burning inside me. "I guess that's why I seemed a bit weird this morning. I've never actually had someone make it through the night before, so I wasn't really sure what to do. But then you've broken all my rules. When I realised how I felt about you just before the break I completely freaked out. And so I did the only thing I do just about know how to do. I put you in a friend box, spent time with you over the holidays but wouldn't let myself get too attached to you. Since it happened I've never even been able to imagine being with a woman again, but the moment that I walked towards you just before we kissed, I knew. I knew that no matter how much I tried to stop myself feeling something for you I couldn't. And so I just went for it. Except the moment I did everything came flooding back again and I knew I... I still couldn't. But I couldn't explain why so instead I just ran. And then the next morning... Nik I'm so sorry I know I've been screwing with your head for the past couple of days. But if it makes you feel any better you've been screwing with mine too. I want to be with you like I've never wanted to be with anyone before. But I also know that however much I feel for you it's not enough to erase my past. I want us to try, I want us to try and give this a go. But I know I'm going to fuck it up a thousand times over because that's just what I do. And I know it's going to take a long time before I'm ready to take things to the next level, and that even then I might realise that it's something that I just really can't do. And the last thing I ever want to do is hurt you. So if you want to leave then go. I won't make you sneak out in the dead of night like Michael, you can leave right now. I mean unless you'd prefer to sneak out in the dead of night in which case..."_

_"Lorraine shut up." _

_I looked up at Nikki for the first time in a while and realised that her entire face was puffy and tear stained. How long had she been crying for? I could feel her staring intensely and fought to keep eye contact. The tension in the room could have been cut with a knife as I waited in silence to see how she was going to react. _

**_Nikki_**

_There were a hundred things running through my head and a thousand things I wanted to say. Where the hell did you even begin when someone had opened themselves up to you like that? What the fuck did you say to such a huge confession? So I did the only thing that really felt right. I moved as close to her on the sofa as I could manage, I took her face in my hands, and I kissed her. Just a soft kiss; nothing too invasive, nothing to suggest I was trying to push her into anything, nothing that would suggest I was doing it for any other reason than love. Love? Was that what I felt? I didn't know, but all I knew is that no matter what she told me, I wasn't going anywhere. _

_After the brief kiss I pulled her into a hug and just held her there, still trying to work out what to say. For over ten minutes there was nothing but the faint sound of cars outside through Lorraine's double glazed windows. Then eventually I knew that if I didn't start to speak soon she was going to panic and the last thing I wanted to do right now was hurt her anymore than she was already hurting. _

_I moved back a little, taking tight hold of her hand, and looking her straight in the eyes I began to reply. _

_"Lorraine there are so many things I need to say right now but before I even begin to try and string them into sentences I want you to know one thing. I am not going anywhere. I don't care how hard you push me away and I don't care how many times you run out on me or go cold on me. I certainly don't care about how long it takes you to be physically comfortable with me. I will still be here. No midnight escapes, no walking away." _

_She nodded softly, looking a little relieved but not very. I knew that she wouldn't believe me, and I understood why. Because she'd heard it all before. But I had to say it anyway, just so it had been said. _

_"And as far as everything else is concerned hey, I've never been with a woman before either. I mean I've been with guys but on the girl front this is just as new for me as it is for you. So you've got nothing to be embarrassed or worried about. If you do ever get to the stage where you feel comfortable enough with me to want things to go the whole way, there won't be any judgement or anything like that. We'll be learning together, okay?" _

_Another nod, a little more confident now, although not by much. _

_"There is one thing though, about this whole staying the night thing." _

_"Go on" you could almost hear her holding her breath. _

_"If you do plan on letting me stay again, which I hope you do, then we're seriously going to have to chat about this no beer thing. Because I'm sorry but I'm not going to be drinking red wine every night for the next god knows how long." _

_She smiled and I felt the tension in the room break slightly. _

_"I meant what I said earlier, you know that don't you."_

_"What" I whispered softly into her ear as I pulled her back into a gentle hug. _

_"I really do want to wake up next to you at some point." _

_I kissed her softly on the forehead and then just held onto her; letting the second lot of tears slowly start to drip down my cheeks. _


	7. Chapter 7

Hi peeps, hope you all survived the horror that was last night's episode. I would talk about it some more but to be quite honest I don't think I'm emotionally ready yet.

Anyway have some Lorikki cuteness to make up for it.

Special mention to Sophie - this is for you for getting through your exam today my love.

Thank you again to everyone for your really sweet replies. It really means a lot when you take the time to do that.

Oh and finally there is some more mention of rape, very mild, but even so T/M just to be safe.

Enjoy

Chelsey xxx

_Chapter Seven_

**_Lorraine_**

_It was a long time before either of us spoke again and when we did it was Nikki that broke the silence. _

_"Thank you, I really appreciate you opening up to me like that. I know what it must have taken you. I don't know what it is about me that made you want to tell me things that you'd never told anyone before, but I swear to you Lorri I'm not going to let you down." _

_"I know." And I did. Somehow, despite everything, I knew that even though I'd never trusted anyone else before, I could trust her. And then I broke into a small grin at the sudden use of Lorri. I normally hated nicknames, so none had ever stuck, but hearing it from Nikki meant that somehow it became acceptable. "Lorri, hmm never had that one before." _

_"Do you mind?" She looked at me sideways._

_"No, no I don't." _

_"Good, because you've started calling me Nik so don't think I'm gonna be bothering with your full name all the time." _

_Had I? I hadn't even noticed. I laughed and pulled a face at her. _

_I saw her glance at the time and then back at me a little awkwardly and I realised how late it was. _

_"Oh I'm sorry, I hadn't noticed the time. Do you want to go?" _

_She hesitated. "No... yes... Maybe." She groaned and started over. "Look I'm going to be straight with you. I don't really know what answer you want darling. I don't want to leave and for you to think I'm bolting, but I don't want to stay and for you to feel suffocated. I know all of this is new to you so whatever makes you happy. It would feel wrong leaving you after everything, and I really want to show you that I'm not going to run. But at the same time I don't want... Look you decide darling, should I stay or should I go?" _

_The last line she sang musically and I laughed. "Look it's late. Why don't you just stay? As long as you're sure you don't mind another night on my sofa." _

_She'd opened her mouth to reply before my last sentence and then had shut it again. I felt myself cringe, both internally and externally. I knew she hadn't intended to suggest we did anything but she'd obviously expected an offer to do as Michael had once done and sleep next to me. Unlike his there were no ulterior motives – that much I was sure of. It had been a perfectly innocent thought, probably almost out of protection. Knowing that I would be feeling vulnerable after everything that I'd spoken about. But was I ready to go that far again? Me and Michael, we'd been together for a long time. Six months. And we'd known each other for years. Obviously just sharing a bed was very different to sex but there was still a certain intimacy about it. But with the burns and everything else... "Oh sorry, I mean, you're welcome to come and join me. In my bed I mean." Well done Lorraine that was the most awkwardly put invitation ever, but at least I'd done it. _

_Nikki stared at me for a second and I felt myself blushing even more. She thought I was a total idiot. I was a total idiot. Then she shook her head and my heart dropped. She didn't want to, after all of that she was going to run. _

_"I would love to, more than you'll ever understand. Right now there is nothing I want more than to take you to bed and curl up next to you and just fall asleep holding you. But we both know you're not completely comfortable with that right now. It was an offer that you felt obligated rather than willing to make. And I appreciate it, I really do. It means a lot you'd have done that because you thought it was what I wanted. And like I said I'd love to. But I'm not going to. I meant what I said Lorri, there's no pressure and there's certainly no expectations. But I will stay right here on this sofa so that if you decide in the night you want me you can come out at any time and come and join me. Okay?" _

_I could feel myself starting to cry a bit again but held it back. I'd done more than enough of being emotional for one night. "Thank you." And with that I knew there was nothing more to say, so I kissed her softly on the lips, whispered goodnight Nik, and then went into my bedroom, leaving the door open behind me. _

**_Nikki_**

_I returned to my previous position on the sofa and attempted to get comfy. It wasn't that her chairs weren't comfy per say, more that my outfit wasn't exactly very practical for sleeping in. Groaning when I realised that it had been a long time since my army days of sleeping in any condition, and that there was no way I was going to be able to sleep in my current state, I stood up and knew I'd have to find something to sleep in. My first thought was to go into her room and either grab her robe again or some pyjamas, but the last thing I wanted to do was to creep into her bedroom in the dead of night. If she was asleep and woke up it would scare the shit out of her. And if she was awake and I walked into her bedroom suddenly in the middle of the night she'd probably have a total meltdown. I knew she wouldn't mind at all me borrowing something, but I just wasn't going to make her think I was about to attack her to do so._

_I didn't really completely know my way around her apartment yet and I didn't feel comfortable prying, so decided if there wasn't anything in easy access then I'd just have to manage as I was. Luckily though I found an old oversized t-shirt that she obviously used for hanging round the house, which would have been perfect with the pair of tracksuit bottoms that I just couldn't find. Damn. I really didn't want to sleep in my trousers. _

_Giving up I stripped out of my shirt, bra, and trousers, before pulling the t-shirt over my head. This would do. Even if she couldn't sleep which I doubted she would, then stubbornness and refusal to show any weakness would prevent her taking me up on my offer to join me anyway. Snuggling down under her throw, I closed my eyes and tried to drift off to sleep. _

**_Lorraine_**

_I'd been tossing and turning for over an hour now and there was still no way I could get to sleep. Maybe talking about everything so late at night hadn't been such a good idea. It had been a long time since I'd had a nightmare about what happened when I was nineteen, but now I'd told Nikki every time I shut my eyes all I could see was her. Over me. Holding my arms together above my head with one hand and pulling my thighs apart with the other. _

_I sat bolt upright, the memory of the first and only time I'd been touched like that now fresh in my mind. I could feel myself shaking, tears starting to escape as I began jumping at every slight creak of the floorboard. I didn't want to go out to Nikki; I didn't want her to think of me as weak and pathetic, needing to be looked after all the time. But I also knew I couldn't stay where I was right now and expect to sleep. My breathing shaky from fear I climbed out of my bed and walked into the living room. _

_I found the bit of the long sofa that the brunette had curled up on and nudging her over I could just about fit between her and the sofa as long as I stayed on my side. Thank god for extra wide sofa's, that's all I could say. But then I noticed something as I wiggled my way under the blanket. I could feel bare skin. Running my hands up her thighs I was surprised to find that there was no material the whole way up to her hips where my hands finally met her pants. I grinned. Talk about making herself at home. While I amused myself with the fact she'd apparently undressed herself to sleep, I was unconsciously playing with the material over her hips. Something that I didn't even realised I was doing until I felt a hand grab hold of mind and nearly died of shock. _

_"Oi, what do you think you're doing." She opened her eyes smiling at me. I smiled back, never feeling as comforted by her voice as I did in that moment. _

_"Sorry I... couldn't sleep." _

_"Nightmares?"_

_"Sort of." _

_She nodded. "Hope you don't mind, I borrowed one of your t-shirts but I couldn't find any jogging bottoms and I figured you wouldn't be coming out until the morning anyway. I know how stubborn you are. I don't want you to be uncomfortable though; if you're staying do you want me to find some more clothes."_

_"No, you're perfect as you are." I ran my hand along her hip again and felt my touch give her goose bumps. _

_"Mmmmm" she pulled me closer towards her and buried her head into my neck; at the same time exploring with her hands to try and work out what I had on – my pyjamas from the night before. Finding the bare skin of my own thighs she did the same as I had to her, exploring my skin carefully. _

_I didn't mind but still couldn't help tensing up slightly as her hands moved higher, not as high as mine had gone on her thigh, but still right up to the bottom pf the little shorts. Realising my reaction she stopped. _

_"Sorry baby" was whispered softly into my ear, and then hands were around my waist instead, holding us together. Unable to work out how to sleep face to face with someone without having my nose tickled by her warm breath I rolled over so I was facing the sofa but then shuffled back against her so that I was buried into her. _

_Less than two minutes later we were both asleep. _


	8. Chapter 8

Oh my goodness I honestly cannot believe how sweet some of your responses are. They mean so much to me they seriously do.

Anyway here's the next chapter - sorry this is actually the longest chapter yet so I'd get comfy kids lol.

Hope you all enjoy x

Chapter 8

**Lorraine**

The next morning went far better than the previous had. Much more used to the routine now we both knew what to do but did it in a way that wasn't as void of emotion as we'd been the day before. In fact the hardest thing was untangling ourselves from each other and the throw we'd slept under and getting up. Nikki decided she could cope in last night's clothes which made the dressing part easier, so it was just a case of showering and throwing the clothes on. In fact we were both standing ready by the door over twenty minutes before we needed to be.

"Oh babe no wait come back."

I turned around to face her. "What's up Nik?"

"We haven't put any cream on you for hours, you're never going to heal if we're not careful. Come on shirt off quickly so I can put it on."

"Oh... okay. I can probably do it myself now you know? Or we can do it later maybe..." I looked away from her. I didn't really know how I felt about her touching me like that at the moment. It had been hard enough the first night when what she was doing was the least of my worries given the pain and throwing up. It had been even harder last afternoon when there was nothing to take away from the awkwardness of the intimacy of the situation. But now, now I had something even worse to contend with. Although her presence provided comfort over night, now morning had come and I could no longer hold onto her and remain lost in the closeness between us, everything was coming flooding back unstopped. So the thought of her touching me like that when all I could think of was the last person that did... it was more than I was sure I could cope with.

"You're not going to give me a repeat of yesterday morning are you? We're doing so well..."

"No" I quickly interrupted. "No it's not like that I promise." We had been doing well though, I mused to myself. Neither of us had freaked out when we'd woken up tangled together. We just separated our own limbs and then worked on getting out of the throw, giggling as we did it. Once that was done she gave me a gentle morning kiss and then we went about our morning like it was the most natural thing in the world.

Thankfully she heard the truth in my voice and that made what was ACTUALLY bothering me become crystal clear.

"Oh Lorri, I'm sorry I didn't think. Look sweetheart if you want to do it yourself you're welcome, but we still have more than enough time before we have to leave so if you can't do it yourself and need a hand we can take it slow okay? And I can stop at any point if you need me to yeah? I won't be offended."

"I know, but, I honestly think I can do it this morning."

I couldn't. I had to give in and take my shirt and bra back off. Sitting in front of her with her eye on my once again bare chest the feeling of vulnerability that had been plaguing me since the previous evening increased tenfold. She was beyond sweet though, starting with the less invasive bits and working up. Eventually when it came to my actual breasts she did it quickly and gently and the moment she was done she wrapped the throw back round me.

"Keep that over you until it's dried a bit so you don't stick to your shirt."

"Thanks" I said weakly feeling like a complete idiot. She didn't seem to mind my patheticness though; she just sat down on the sofa next to me. Close enough so that we could touch, but not so close that we had to.

After the cream was mostly dry I got dressed again (she turned her back which I appreciated the sentiment of even if it was a little pointless) and that time we actually made it out of the door.

The day went pretty smoothly, Nikki didn't even ask to put the ointment on me at work, I think she understood that it would be far too much at this point, but she did come by to check on me and offer to buy me lunch.

"I'd love to but I can't babe, I have so much work to do and if I don't get it done now I'll be here all night."

"Oh, okay." She looked a little disappointed, but I knew there was nothing I could do and as much as I hated upsetting her in this instant she was just going to have to be disappointed. Didn't make me feel any better after everything she was doing for me though.

"Tell you what; why don't you go home and get changed after work and then come over to mine, I'll let you buy me take away even if I can't manage lunch. How does that sound?"

"Pretty good" she said smiling again. I sighed a breath of relief. The last thing I wanted to do was upset her. She wasn't done though. "Why don't you come over to me though, I can always pick you up if you're not up to driving still."

I felt myself visibly cringe and she did the same.

"Sorry I... I didn't mean you had to stay the night or anything, I just... you haven't been before."

I shook my head. "Sorry Nik I didn't mean to react like that. It's not that I wouldn't love to but... I've never done that before. Gone back to someone's house" I admitted. "I guess it just makes me feel less... I just feel better if I'm at home." Less vulnerable, why can't you just say it Lorraine.

"Oh sorry, I keep forgetting things from last night. Not forgetting, obviously not forgetting, just not putting into proper context with what I'm doing now." She stumbled over her sentences and started to blush.

Feeling a little guilty I'd got her into such a state I knew I needed to reassure her. "Nik chill out I get it. Stop worrying so much about upsetting me. You told me to tell you if stuff like this happened, and I did, sort of. So don't feel bad you're not going to know everything that I still find difficult okay, I didn't want to have a dig I just know that if this is going to work I have to be open with you; however hard that is for me. But if I'm going to try you have to as well okay, so just relax."

She nodded and as the school bell went I gave her arm a quick squeeze (subtle in case anyone walked in) and then let her get on with the rest of her afternoon.

**Nikki**

I'd had to drop her home first, but once I had I went home and got showered and changed. I saw my overnight bag still slung in the corner of my wardrobe from last time I'd gone away. I hesitated. Would it freak her out too much if I turned up with some stuff? Possibly but she had said she wanted be to be open with her and part of that was being upfront about things. The reality was I'd stayed the past two nights. I didn't think I'd be there every night, but the chances were tonight could be a night when I would end up staying. And having to go to work wearing last night's clothes every morning was getting a bit crazy. Shoving some things into it I finished up getting ready and then headed to Lorraine's, stopping on the way for some pizza. She hadn't told me what take away it was that she wanted so I decided rather than risk something like Chinese or Indian which, although probably more 'proper' not everyone eats. I could of course text or phone her, but I wanted to just go with instinct a bit at the moment.

I knocked on the door and she came to open it in a pair of cropped black leggings and an oversized hoodie that covered her bum.

"Cute" I said grinning at her, pleased that rather than dressing up I'd also just gone for some skinny black jeans and a loose fitting red shirt.

"Ditto" she said grinning back at me. "Hope you don't mind the more casual look, I just really couldn't be bothered to get all dressed up again, not after the day I've had. And as we're not actually going anywhere tonight it didn't seem necessary."

"That's fine my theory was pretty much the same."

She continued smiling as her eyes drifted over the bags of food, my handbag, the bag over my shoulders... her face dropped a little although she tried very hard to hide it. I knew I needed to say something but I wanted to do it properly so pretending I hadn't noticed her reaction I walked in, shoved everything but the bags of food onto the floor in the hallway, and then headed into her kitchen.

I began unpacking the food, the bottles of wine, and the bottles of lager, and could see her watching me carefully from the corner of the room. I looked up at her and knew I needed to say something. Walking over I took her hands in mine and then began to speak. "Sorry if I'm making myself a bit too at home in your kitchen."

"No it's not that" she said quickly.

"I know darling. Look I didn't want to assume anything because I know I won't be here every night. Hell you might never want me to stay again. But I knew there was a chance that if this runs on quite late the offer might be extended to me again, and this whole going to work in last night's clothes is getting a bit mad. And also there's this really cute woman at work that also happens to be my boss, and I don't want to start getting in trouble for turning up to work in a bit of a state. She might think I have no class – being a dirty stop out every night of the week."

She gave a small giggle. God I love that sound. "I'm sure she'll think you're pretty amazing whatever state of dress you turn up in. But fair enough. I um... I have a guest room if you want me to put it in there?"

"Hang on so you have a second bedroom but I've spent the last two nights on the sofa?" I laughed, confused but amused by her oddness.

She looked away a little awkwardly. "Well yeah but... the first night I didn't really think about it to be honest. I was in so much pain it just didn't even cross my mind. Then last night... well I didn't plan on coming out but I guess in the back of my mind I couldn't avoid the fact it was a possibility and..."

"If I was on the sofa then we were just curling up on the sofa together, if I was in the guest bedroom joining me would mean us sharing a bed."

"Yeah" she looked a bit embarrassed so I squeezed her hand a little tighter in mine.

"Hey, don't go all embarrassed on me Miss Donnegan. There's nothing to be embarrassed about. But yeah I'll shove it in there so I'm not blocking your hallway and if I stay I'll take the pillows and duvet with me onto the sofa."

She finally met my eyes; hers had lit up slightly.

"I... thank you. That's really thoughtful. You know you don't have to though, right?"

"I know" I leant forwards and kissed her softly on the forehead. "Right come on then before this gets cold."

In the end we decided not even to bother with plates. We grabbed the pizza boxes, some bottles of lager, a bottle of wine and a couple of glasses and took it all into the living room. We chatted about work the whole way through dinner, discussing plans for the school and laughing about some of the stuff the kids (and teachers) came out with sometimes. It got to about half past eleven and now only had we polished off all of the pizza and drinks, we'd also both scoffed an entire trifle between us.

"God I am seriously going to have to go for a run in the morning" I said laughing.

"Maybe we could go together." She tilted her head to the side slightly, looking at me through those big beautiful eyes of hers.

I nodded. "Sounds like a plan." Nothing else needed to be said. We both knew that was an invitation to stay another night with her, one that I was more than happy to accept. There wasn't a need to say anything else, clarify it. We both understood each other perfectly.

"Right, shall we get ready for bed then?" She asked me, the smile on her face a little more strained now. She'd been happy enough to sit and chat and she hadn't even minded addressing the issue of whether or not I was going to stay. The actual going to bed part however, was something she was clearly not all that ready for yet. Knowing her fear that the night would once again being plagued with nightmares, both waking and sleeping, of what she'd revealed to me the night before, I knew I needed to reassure her somehow.

"Yeah we should, get comfy and everything. It's still pretty early though, we could sit up and chat for a bit once we're ready for bed. If you want to that is?"

"Yeah" I could see the relief in her face.

We both went into our separate rooms and I opened up the overnight bag. "Shit."

"What's up?" she called through the wall.

"Just realised the one thing I forgot to pack was pyjamas."

I heard a sound at my bedroom door and turned to see Lorraine walk in in a similar cami set to the ones she'd been wearing for the past couple of nights. "You can always borrow this again." She chucked the oversized t-shirt I'd slept in the night before at me and I felt myself blush slightly. I wasn't someone that was particularly worried about my body but I still felt strangely shy about having to walk around in just a t-shirt and pants. It hadn't really mattered the night before because I'd been under the sheets and it was dark when we'd woken up. But now she was actually going to see me. And oh god I didn't even own any sexy underwear and she was going to see my boring white bottoms that I'd thrown on after my shower.

"Um, yeah sure" I muttered as she walked over to me. I felt her hand on my arm, her lips on mine as she kissed me. Kissing back I could feel my heart race. This was our first proper kiss since the initial one – the one after which she'd bolted out the school. We'd shared a couple of quick pecks on the lips since, but because of everything that had gone on nothing else had really seemed appropriate. Once she broke apart from me she started to speak again.

"If you want I can grab you some bottoms? Then once you're changed if it's alright I think I need some more of that ointment stuff."

"Of course I don't mind." We were smiling at each other, the message she'd given me clear. As hot and cold as she'd been blowing she did genuinely like me, and she wanted me to be walking around in as few clothes as possible because she liked my body. If I wasn't comfortable with that there was no pressure, but I didn't need to worry because it wasn't like I hadn't seen far more of her. "Nope just the t-shirt's fine, I'll get changed and then come and sort you out."

She continued smiling, nodded her head, and then turned around, pulling the door shut as she left but not closing it completely. I quickly changed into the t-shirt, once again removing my shirt, jeans and bra first, and then grabbing the stuff I needed for her burns I walked out into the living room, trying to concentrate on her and not my own sudden uncharacteristic shyness about my body.

As I walked over to her she pulled the cami off over her head and I settled down in front of her. I did the same as I had that morning, starting with the bits she wouldn't be so worried about then working up. Once I'd done I looked around for the throw. "Where's the throw so I can put it around you again while you dry?"

"Oh I'd put it in the wash. It's okay I'll stay like this for a couple of minutes, it's pretty warm tonight."

I smiled, pleased at the slight progress that she was making. Okay so she'd then curled her legs up so she was hidden, but she was still doing pretty okay. I wanted to give her a hug but I didn't feel like it was appropriate while she didn't have her top on, but once it had been pulled back over her body I shuffled over closer and put my arms around her.

"How am I doing? The burns I mean?"

I sighed knowing I couldn't really give her the answer she wanted. "You're not doing bad, the ointment's definitely helping, but as I'm sure you've seen you're still in a pretty bad state."

"I'm sorry."

"What for?"

"Being such a mess."

I shushed her. "Don't be silly, you're not at all. And burns or not you're still absolutely stunning." I tilted her head up and kissed her. As we stopped I saw a yawn escape from her mouth, however much she tried to hide it.

"You're exhausted darling, I think it's time for bed."

And with that, suddenly, without warning, she threw up; all over the sofa, all over me, and all over herself. And then burst into tears.

"Nikki I'm so sorry."

"Shhh it's okay, I knew you were really worried about bed tonight I shouldn't have said anything, I should have just let you fall asleep here with me." I pulled her back towards me again, taking her in my arms. We were both already coated so it didn't really make any difference. "Right we'll take it in turns to shower and then we'll worry about the sofa." She held onto me a little tighter. I looked down and saw how pale she was. "Sweetheart are you alright? I thought it was just what I'd said but you actually don't look very well."

She shook her head. "I don't feel it." She turned her head away and was sick again.

"Oh god it looks like you've got some kind of bug." I put my hand on her head. "Yeah you feel like you're burning up."

"I feel like I'm about to pass out." She muttered honestly.

I nodded. She needed a shower and to get to bed but there was no way she was in any state to do that right now. I went to the spare room, got underwear out of my bag, and then went and threw it into the bathroom. Then without saying a word I went back to where I'd left her on the sofa and half carrying her took her to the bathroom. Still not saying a word I took her into the walk in shower, both of us still fully clothed, and turned it on. The water rushed over us both, removing every trace of sick from our clothes but leaving us both soaked to the skin. I turned her around and washed her hair for her, something considerably harder than washing my own short bob, and then once we were both completely shampoo free I turned the tap back off.

We both walked out, me still supporting most of her weight. "Are you going to be okay to get yourself dried and dressed if I stay in here and do the same?"

She nodded and I helped her back into her bedroom before going back into the bathroom and pushing the door to. Now minus the t-shirt I put the clean pair of pants on and then took the robe I'd seen off the back of her bathroom door, wrapping it around me. "Are you dressed?"

"Yep" came a weak voice from the other side of the door. I walked out seeing she'd redressed herself into another cami set.

"Right come on then treacle we need to get you to bed."

"Neither of us can sleep on the sofa tonight can we?"

"No" I shook my head gently. Even once it had been cleaned it was still going to be soaking for the next few hours.

"Stay with me."

"Sorry?"

"Well you can't sleep on the sofa any more than I can. So you'd have to go into the guest room. And I think we both know that I'm not going to make it through the night on my own. Not if we're both being honest. So I'm going to end up coming and getting into bed with you anyway. So why even go through the motions. I'm not well enough to play games. You might as well just stay here. A bed's a bed."

I smiled, even as ill as she now was she still managed to show some signs of her usual blunt, no nonsense self. "Fair enough, let me just go wipe down the sofa and I'll be in. I'll sort it properly in the morning."

Once I'd done that I returned with the ointment. "Sweetheart are you up to me doing this again. The shower and sick will have washed the last lot off and I don't really want to leave you over night with nothing on. It really won't help with your healing. But I also don't want to make you more ill."

"No, it's fine." Her voice was so weak, barely above a whisper. She was so pale.

I knew she didn't have the strength to undress herself again so I pulled the cami top over her head and then set about doing the ointment again with her laying on the bed. "Right done. We'll pop your top back on in a second, do you want to get under the covers in the meantime?"

"Yeah."

Still supporting most of her weight I got her under the covers; and after hesitating for a second wriggled my way under them with her.

I pulled her towards me letting her snuggle into my side, all concerns about hugging her in a state of half undress gone. She whispered something but it was too faint for me to even hear. "What darling?" I felt her tug at the robe and understood immediately. I felt my breath catch in my mouth. I understood that part of this was just that she was only in bottoms and so I guess wanted me the same, but I knew there was more than that. Because if I took her robe off then our bodies would touch properly for the first time, and that's not something she'd do just to balance things out. She genuinely wanted, needed perhaps, the intimacy that would come with that level of physical contact. "Are you sure?" She tugged at it again. Not really sure whether I was doing the right thing or not, and not even sure whether I was ready for this yet, I undid the robe and dropped it over the side of the bed. "Better?"

She pulled me closer, our now bare chests pressed together. "Much" she whispered into my ear. I kissed her forehead and she shut her eyes, sleep finally taking over her.

"Promise me you'll still be here in the morning?"

"I promise" I whispered, pushing her hair out of her face, kissing her softly once more, and then pulling her into me as we drifted off to sleep.


	9. Chapter 9

I really cannot believe the amazing response this fic is getting. Seriously guys you have all blown my mind with how supportive and lovely you've all been. Thank you so much.

Anyway here's chapter nine, not as long as the last one but still with just enough drama to be getting by. ;)

Hope you enjoy.

xxx

Chapter Nine

**Nikki**

We didn't make it through the night. I woke up about half three in the morning to see Lorraine stumbling over the floor to the bathroom before hearing the sound of her being sick in the toilet. Jumping out of bed I raced across the room, completely forgetting to be self conscious about my lack of clothing in my concern for the younger woman, and followed her into the en suite. She was curled up on the floor next to the toilet looking even paler than she had when we'd gone to sleep. "Oh god darling you really aren't well are you?"

She shook her head slowly looking up at me for the first time, a small smile appearing on her face as she did so. "Wow you're beautiful." Blushing I remembered that I no longer had the t-shirt on and was standing there in nothing but a pair of white pants.

"Shhhh I'm not. Seriously my body is the last thing you want to see when you already feel sick" I joked, hoping I managed to pull it off without showing how embarrassed I genuinely felt.

She half shook her head before sickness took over again and she was forced to return to her previous position over the toilet. As she sat back up a little bit dripped from her chin to her pyjamas bottoms. I grabbed some toilet roll and wiped her chin. "Right come on you these had better come off." I tugged softly at her pyjama bottoms.

She grabbed hold of my wrist and I froze.

"Oh god sorry sweetheart. I... I just assumed you had pants on underneath so you wouldn't really be any more undressed. Certainly no more undressed than I am right now." I smiled trying to lighten the mood and hide my own guilt at upsetting her.

"I do but..." she looked down blushing. "They're um.. a little more revealing than yours. They're lacy and pretty see through."

"Are you trying to torture me?" I threw back with a grin, deciding that if I tried to keep it light it might ease the obvious awkwardness for her.

"No I... sorry."

Groaning internally I realised my mistake. "Sorry darling, I don't mind really I was just teasing you."

I got a weak nod back and wasn't sure if it was because I'd upset her or whether it was just because she wasn't well enough to do anything more. Hesitantly in case I made it worse I moved closer to her until I was right behind her and put my arms around her middle.

"Nik, please can you go get me some different bottoms?"

"Of course" oh great now she didn't even want me near her; I'd really managed to fuck this up tonight. And after she'd finally started to trust me a little bit more. I got up and went into her room, grabbing the first pair out of her draw and taking them back to the bathroom, offering them out to her and preparing to turn back around to leave. She looked at me blankly. I stared back at her.

"Nik I can hardly put them on myself I barely have enough strength to hold myself upright let alone fiddle about getting changed."

Okay now I was confused. "But I thought you just said..."

"I know but... I need you."

Silence.

We both slowly absorbed what she'd just said.

Then suddenly I could feel myself moving towards her, pressing my lips against hers, kissing her with every part of my soul. And she was kissing back, weakly, not enough strength to put as much power behind it as I had, but still with everything she had. I dropped the bottoms onto the floor next to me so I could put my hands around her and pull her close to me until our chests were pressed together again. A minute or so later and we broke apart so that she could be sick again.

"Way to ruin the moment. Sorry Nik I must have tasted like vomit. Ugh I'm such a disgusting mess right now."

I shook my head. "No you're not you're perfect, now come on let's get you changed, I'll help you do your teeth and then we can go back to bed. I'll make sure I get a bucket this time though so you don't have to run the whole way to the bathroom if you need to be sick again.

"Thank you." I put my hands to the waistband of her shorts. "Nik?"

"Yeah"

"Please can you try not to look at me." She couldn't met my eye and I could tell she was blushing again, shy and embarrassed at how uncomfortable she was.

I could have tried to reassure her but I knew it would fall on deaf ears. Instead I lifted her chin up so she was forced to met my gaze and then, without breaking eye contact, I got her changed.

"Thank you."

I held her up while she did her teeth and then walked her back to bed. Once she was safely tucked in I returned to the kitchen, hunting out a couple of bottles of water, a bowl and some paracetamol. I walked back in putting the pills and water on the bedside table for when she wanted them, and then put the bucket down the side of the bed nearest to her.

I climbed next to her in the bed, worried as I saw she was still very pale. "Darling if you don't start looking any better by the morning I'm taking you to the doctors."

"I'm fine" she said in something that was barely above a whisper.

"Hmmm" I rolled closer to her and then felt something brush against my hip. Lace.

I looked up at her curiously as she said shyly "Well you can't see me now and the pyjamas you picked out for me were some old ones that aren't the most comfy anymore. Sorry is it weird..."

"What that you're now as undressed as I am? Yeah it's dreadful" I teased.

"Shut up" she went to hit me playfully but her arm dropped. She didn't even have that much strength left anymore. I curled into her and held onto her, praying that this time we'd make it to the morning.

**Lorraine **

Thankfully after the incident in the early morning I did manage to sleep in until half six. I woke up no longer feeling like I was going to be sick, but still feeling equally as dreadful.

Rolling over I grabbed my phone off the side and text Michael.

'Hi, won't be in today, feeling dreadful. Nikki's phoned to say she's ill too. Will both hopefully be back tomorrow all being well. Take care of my baby L x'

"Mmmmm you gonna be sick again" Nikki asked without even opening her eyes. She'd obviously felt my movement.

"No babe, but I still feel absolutely shit so I've text Michael to say I won't be in. I told him you were ill as well, I'm not letting you go in having had no sleep cos you've been up all night with me."

Her eyes opened. "You didn't have to do that sweetheart, I would have been fine. Although to be honest I don't really want to leave you right now anyway."

I wanted to tell her that I was a big girl and I could look after myself but I knew that it wasn't true. What I'd said last night was true, I needed her. I couldn't help but smile though when I realised she had just assumed that when I said we weren't going in we'd be staying together. For all she knew I could have planned on sending her back to her own flat. Well at least she was a little bit less worried about upsetting me now. I appreciated all her concern but I wanted her to be comfortable around me; not too scared to say anything.

"Mmmm, what makes you think you're staying?"

"Oh" she blushed and I couldn't help but laugh at her.

"I mean I'd love you too, but you're not obligated to stay here and keep an eye on me."

"I know" Nikki said, pulling me back closer to her again so that she could reach to kiss me. I relaxed into the kiss. They were becoming more natural now, less tense. They were also becoming more frequent as we both became slowly more comfortable with each other. I broke away to take the paracetamol and I could see her watching me carefully.

"What you staring at?"

"How beautiful you are" she replied sincerely, making me blush again.

"Thanks, I don't feel beautiful though I feel like shit."

"Well maybe you should let me make you feel beautiful again."

I moved back towards her, burying my head into her neck and whispering in her ear. "And how do you intend to do that?"

"Mmmm you wanna find out?" she said suggestively and started trailing kisses down the side of my neck. For a moment I felt completely paralyzed but despite how ill and weak I felt, despite how scared all of this was making me, I suddenly felt a surge of love for her go through me and a want to be close to her.

I let her finish kissing my neck and then began doing the same back. But rather than going back up to her lips, I continued down a little to her collar bone, trailing kisses along it and then down to her bare chest, pulling the duvet down with me. My lips pressed in the exact spot between her two breasts and I felt her shiver slightly. I moved back up to her lips, kissing them again before asking "sorry babe am I making you cold?"

She smiled at me. "Mmmm a little, I don't mind though."

"I bet you don't" I said smirking at her and felt her start to tickle me. Oh god okay so I was still feeling a little bit sick. Rolling over to the side of the bed I threw up in the bucket she'd left there for me and groaned. "Ugh here we go again."

She was behind me, arms around me, her chest pressed into my back. "Lorri I am so so sorry, I got carried away and forgot you still aren't very well."

"Don't even worry about it, if it wasn't that setting me off it would have been something else. God I really do feel like shit."

"You wanna go back to the bathroom?"

I thought about it for a second. "Na I think I'm done for the moment, but actually yeah could we? I'd really like to do my teeth again there is nothing fouler than the taste of sick."

"Come on then."

Her arms were around me still and she slowly helped me get to my feet. I had been starting to feel a tiny bit less wobbly but now I'd been sick again my legs had gone back to jelly. We took a couple of steps forward and I felt one of her hands go to steady me, moving from my waist like the other one to my hip. And suddenly it hit me. I took my bottoms off when I'd got back into bed – and I'd never put them back on. That's why the only thing between her hand and my skin was a flimsy bit of see through lace. "No I need to get back into bed." I spun around as fast as I could and promptly threw up all over her. Bursting into tears I pushed straight past her using the last of my strength before collapsing onto the bed, pulling the duvet over me until I was covered up to my shoulders.

"Okay are you going to tell me what the hell that was about?"

She was angry with me now, I could tell. But I didn't even care anymore. How much of me had she seen? I mean she was behind me but she was also quite a bit taller than me...

"Lorraine are you listening to me?"

"No, I mean yes. Sorry." I felt my face grow hotter, warm tears threatening to spill out even faster than they were at the moment. "I... I think you should leave." What the hell was wrong with me that was the last thing I wanted. Not to mention the fact that I wasn't completely convinced I would cope on my own right now. I'd never been this ill before in my life.

"Fine whatever" and with that she turned away from me and walked into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her.


	10. Chapter 10

I know I know, the last chapter didn't have a happy ending. But hey it can't all run smoothly can it?

Thank you again for all the wonderful comments. You guys are seriously the best. 3

Anyway here we go again, another mammoth of a chapter so make sure you're comfy.

Chelsey x

P.S. I am a naughty girl and may use the word sex in this chapter. More than once. But this fic is a T (/M in some parts but I do warn you about that) so you can't sue me. ;)

_Chapter Ten_

_**Nikki**_

_I let the water run over me for far longer than I needed to, half because I wasn't ready to go back out and face her and half because it blocked the feel of the tears that I knew were escaping from my eyes. I wasn't even completely sure why I was crying. In truth it was partly because I was hurt. I'd been trying so hard to look after her and not push any of her boundaries and then for no reason whatsoever she'd suddenly freaked out on me and basically thrown me out of her house. And of course I was a bit pissed off that being ill and moving so quickly she'd managed to throw up right over me; something that if I'm honest she hadn't even looked particularly worried about. Don't get me wrong when she'd done it accidentally the other day I hadn't minded at all, it was the fact that she caused it herself and then didn't even give a fuck._

_And I guess there was also an element of it that was frustration. Because while I didn't mind having to take this as slowly as she needed, I at least would have liked to know where I stood. A minute ago we'd taken things physically further than we ever had before, and then suddenly she wouldn't even let me see her, even though I'd already seen her without a top on and in just bottoms... Oh shit._

_I suddenly realised what it was that I'd done. Put my hand on her hip. On the edge of her pants; the see through pants that this morning she'd been so upset about the thought of me seeing her in. I ran my hand through my short hair. God this was hard._

_I turned the shower off and pulled a towel round me. It was time for a bit of tough love and some honesty._

_Marching back into the bedroom I saw her roll over so she didn't have to face me. I didn't care. I went and sat down on the edge of the bed and then taking hold of her head turned it towards me while she tried to protest, until she was forced to look at me. She was crying. I hated her being upset and I knew that the tears were part of the reason that she didn't want to look at me, but I had to do this._

_"I'm sorry" she whispered. She was shaking now and I realised that I'd scared her. This was so so hard. I couldn't even take hold of her head like that without making her think I might hurt her. Did she really think that little of me? I knew it wasn't about me, but... it still felt pretty personal sometimes. I let go of her. She didn't turn away from me._

_"I know, I know you are Lorri" I leant down and kissed her on the forehead. "And I am too, I shouldn't have lost my temper. But I didn't know what I'd done and... look, I have to be honest with you. I'm struggling, I am finding this whole hot and cold thing impossibly hard and I really don't know what to do."_

_"Like I said you can leave..." she said it so softly that I had to strain my ears to even hear her. I knew that unlike before she hadn't meant it horribly, she genuinely thought that I wanted to go and so she was just telling me what she thought I wanted to hear._

_"And like I said last night, I'm not going anywhere."_

_She looked at me clearly confused. "But you just said..."_

_"I said that I was finding this hard."_

_"Impossibly hard."_

_"Yeah, which means that we need some ground rules, not that I'm about to make a run for it."_

_"Ground rules?"_

_"Yeah, ground rules. Firstly you have to start talking to me. I don't care how stupid you think you're being, if something's upset you, something I've done or said or that's happened, I need you to actually tell me. Because I'm not going to judge you Lorri, but I need you to be honest with me so that I understand what's going on."_

_"Okay" she said softly._

_"Secondly, you have to stop pushing me away okay. If you genuinely want me to go then by all means tell me to piss off. But I don't want any of this silly bullshit where every time something goes wrong you tell me to leave or run off. You HAVE to learn to face things. All you've done since you were a teenager is run away the moment anything got a little bit more complicated than you could deal with. Well I've got some news for you darling, life's complicated. And if you don't start accepting that and rolling with it you're never going to properly experience life. You're never going to actually fall in love, not with me, not with anyone. Because love is about taking risks and sometimes, in fact all the time, it's bloody complicated."_

_"I know" she was still whispering, tears flowing even more freely down her face now._

_I could feel myself getting more and more frustrated with her. I didn't want to, but now that I'd started suddenly everything that I had ever wanted, needed even, to say to her was coming out. And the truth was it wasn't about ground rules, it wasn't about making this work. It was just about making her understand. Making her see how crazy this all was for me. And it wasn't that I didn't sympathise or that I didn't understand; I did. But I needed her to understand too. I needed her to understand what this, what SHE was doing to me._

_"No, no you don't know. Because you've never been in love Lorraine. You have never properly let yourself fall for anyone. When you were nineteen you were close to being in love, but then she hurt you, in the worst way imaginable. And I get that sweetheart; I get how hard that makes opening up and that because of it you've never let yourself feel anything for anyone ever. But please don't tell me you know a fucking thing about falling in love because you don't. Because when have you ever actually let yourself fall properly in love Lorraine? Tell me please, who exactly have you ever been really truly in love with?"_

_"You"_

_A deadly silence filled the room; and it wasn't because I hadn't heard. That time it didn't matter that it was the quietest she'd spoken so far, it didn't matter that my heart was beating so fast I could barely hear her speak over the sound of it; it didn't even matter that her speech was a little blurry because she was crying so heavily. Suddenly I could hear her as though she'd been shouting at me through a microphone. That one word was crystal clear._

_And that was it. I swung my legs round behind me, climbing onto the bed properly, kissing her with everything I had, feeling her do the same. It no longer mattered we were in the middle of a fight, or that she'd told me to leave, or that she'd freaked out about me seeing her and had thrown up on me. I didn't care that she still tasted of sick. In that moment all that mattered was that I showed her that I felt the same, that despite the shortness and chaos that had been our relationship up until this point, she meant everything to me._

_I slid under the covers to be closer to her, wanting to feel her skin against mine, not even thinking about how she might react as I climbed on top of her. I ran my hands along her side and was surprised to see she hadn't got dressed while I'd been gone; she was still in nothing but the pants. Our lips crashed together again and her arms grabbed hold of my side. I felt the towel falling off me and flinched but was quickly distracted by the feeling her hands running down the sides of my newly bare hips. Then suddenly she was rolling me over and I was grabbing hold of her hips, trying to keep her beneath me, desperately wanting to maintain control. As she used her remaining strength to roll me over, with power that I can only assume came from the pure adrenaline rush her confession had caused, I heard the sound of fabric tearing. For a few seconds we continued on as we had been before, making out passionately with everything we had. But then we both realised what we'd heard. Realised that in the struggle of her rolling me onto my back, my fingers, still on her hips, had managed to get tangled and unintentionally tear through the flimsy fabric of her pants._

_It was my turn to nearly be sick. If earlier had caused her to freak out then this definitely would. If there was any way to remind her of her last and only sexual experience with someone it this. I looked up, meeting her panicked little eyes. She looked just as she had that day before term ended, like a cat caught in headlights. Then I felt movement and realised she was moving my hands that were still on her hips. I nearly cried not sure what to expect next but knowing it wasn't going to be good._

_But she was still holding my hands, balanced over me. The only difference now was that as my hands had moved, the fabric I'd been holding onto had fallen from her. Now there was nothing between us as we both lay staring at one another in shock, Lorraine still straddling me with her hands holding onto mine, tighter and tighter until it felt like she was going to break them._

_I knew I needed to speak. I felt her head drop next to mine, the strength starting to leave her body._

_**Lorraine**_

_My head fell onto the bed next to her. I was getting weaker again, having used up the small amount of energy the rush of adrenaline had given me. Pulling my head up only enough to be able to look at her, my head tilted to the side and I whispered "It's okay, I love you". Half reassuring her it was okay, that she hadn't done anything wrong. Half reassuring myself that this was okay, I could trust her; she wasn't going to try to take advantage of me, she wasn't going to hurt me._

_"I love you too." Her voice was barely louder than mine but it was enough. As I heard it I relaxed enough to allow the last of my strength leave me, and my body that I'd been so careful to not let fall against hers did. And that was where we lay for the next few minutes, with me collapsed on top of her, skin against skin, my head buried into the side of her neck. And there were hundreds of things that I knew I needed to think about and absorb, and even more that I needed to say to her, but for those few minutes none of them mattered. My brain went blank. All I knew was that I felt safe with Nikki, and that for once was enough._

_After a few minutes I felt her lips against my neck and her hands running slowly up my side. I almost held my breath as I felt her fingers continue to explore the now bare skin of my right hip. "You okay?" she whispered to me, still a little unsure about whether I was genuinely okay or whether I was about to freak out again._

_"Yeah I'm alright" I said softly. I wanted to get another burst of energy, find the strength to really kiss her again. So I could show her that I meant what I said before. Because what I had realised when I saw her sitting looking at me manically earlier, was that this was fucking hard for her too. Until a few days ago she didn't even realise she liked women. And since then she'd not even had a proper chance to deal with how she felt because she was too busy dealing with all my crazy shit. All I'd done was mess her around and play with her emotions. So as hard as it was for me to believe her, believe that this was all for real, I knew it must be just as hard for her to believe me._

_She was still running her hands up and down my bare hip. "Mmmm that's nice" I purred softly. She looked at me and our eyes met once more._

_And then suddenly we were kissing again. Emotion exploding from us as our tongues battled it out in her mouth. I pulled back slightly from the kiss and heard her moan, half in pain, half in pleasure, as I bit down on her lip. I was running my hands along her side, and before I'd really realised what was going on I was straddling her again and running my right hand slowly up the outside of her left thigh. I moved so that I had one leg either side of her left one, then I let my body drop onto her again so I didn't have to worry about having the strength to hold myself up. I could feel our bodies brush together now as we kissed even more fiercely than before. Her hands had been around my back but now she moved them down, squeezing my bum as I moved the kiss down to her neck again. Hands still on my bum I felt her lift her thigh up slightly and try to brush against me, moving my hips towards her..._

_"Oh shit" I rolled off her, starting to throw up again in the bowl by the side of the bed._

_"Sorry I'm not..." I was sick again "freaking out babe, I just..." and then again "moved too much."_

_I looked up hoping she wasn't going to be mad at me and was relieved but a little offended to see her lying there half laughing._

_"Sorry Lorri I know you don't feel well and I feel horrible but..."_

_"Yeah I know it's hilarious. I keep ruining the moment by puking my guts up."_

_She giggled. "No it's not ruined it's just... making things a little bit trickier."_

_I groaned and rolled onto my back next to her. She put her arm around me and I snuggled into her side._

_"You okay?"_

_I thought about it. "Yeah I think I'm done being sick again for now."_

_"I wasn't talking about that."_

_"I know." I did. I knew exactly what she'd meant, I just wasn't sure I was ready to talk yet. But I had to, I'd made a promise to her and it was one I fully intended to honour._

_"Yeah I'm okay. I just... I feel a bit overwhelmed right now. I mean we... we got pretty close to actually starting to... you know?"_

_"Have sex?"_

_"Yeah" I blushed but refused to drop eye contact. "Yeah and I want to, please don't think I don't. I mean... you're gorgeous. And I do, you know, love you." I had to look down; it still felt a little bit weird to be so open with her like that. "But it just feels pretty quick."_

_She nodded, and I was relieved to see genuine understanding in her eyes. "If it makes you feel any better I feel a bit freaked out too. I can't believe I just did that I mean... is that even what we're supposed to do?"_

_I giggled for a second but then thought about it and stopped. "I have no idea. I um..." I found her hand and held onto it. "She... didn't. Just went inside me and then um..." I could feel myself starting to get a bit shaky and felt fingers on my lips._

_"Shhh you're okay, you don't have to talk about it."_

_"Oh sorry" I suddenly felt a bit guilty. That was probably the last thing she wanted to hear about, especially right now._

_"Hey don't be sorry" she squeezed my hand "I want you to be able to talk about it with me. I want to know everything that happened to you that night so that I can really honestly understand what you went through and be able to try and help best I can. But I don't want you to feel like you have to or that there's any rush. If you want to tell me then I promise you Lorri that's okay, but if you want to do it little bit at a time then that's okay too. I just don't want you to push yourself too hard and force it out when you're not ready; yeah?"_

_I nodded. "Yeah. Yeah thank you... thank you for being so understanding. It means a lot."_

_"You're more than welcome treacle."_

_We lay in silence again for a few minutes, both needing some time to take in everything that had just happened. In the end it was me that spoke first this time._

_"Ugh I feel so gross, all I can smell is sick. I need a shower and I seriously need to do my teeth."_

_"You want to shower together?" She looked at me a little shyly and I couldn't help but smile._

_"Oh bless, look at confident Miss Boston now. First sign she's going to have to let me see her with all her clothes off and she's like a teenager; all shy and insecure."_

_"Alright alright" she blushed even more. "I'm not shy I just... Oh I don't know."_

_I squeezed HER hand this time. "Look I'd love to but... only if you're sure you're ready. Cos the same thing goes for you, you know that right? I'm not going to be upset or offended if you say we're moving too fast. I've had a lot more time to get used to this liking girls thing than you. I know you might not be ready to let me see all of you yet, or to see all of me for that matter. So just... don't feel like you have to say stuff like that because you don't."_

_"I know I don't. I do want to; I want to be close to you. But you're right I haven't really had much time to get my head round this. And I just... well once we've done that it's kinda official isn't it? I mean up to this point we could just be really good friends. That happened to have made out a few times..."_

_We both laughed._

_"But seriously, showering together that's like... really coupley. And that means we're really together, that I'm really..."_

_I leant up and kissed her softly before finishing her sentence. "...In a relationship with another woman."_

_"Well, yeah."_

_I could see the insecurity in her eyes now. I could see that like me she too had her insecurities. She also had things that were obviously bothering her about this relationship. "Look Nik if you want to slow down then that's okay. I'm a big girl I'm sure I'll manage to shower all by myself."_

_"Really?"_

_I pulled a face at her. "Babe I'm serious, I've been looking after myself when I've been ill for a hell of a long time. If you aren't ready to shower together yet then we can take it in turns."_

_She looked at me and I could see her mulling it all over. "No, no I want to do this. I love you. And woman or not I want to be with you. And it's a bit too late to worry about that now anyway, I mean like you said we just nearly..." she trailed off and I wasn't sure whether it was for my benefit or hers that she didn't say the word sex again._

_"Right, if you're sure... Um... how do you want to do this?"_

_She looked at me blankly. "What do you mean?"_

_"Well are we both moving at the same time or..."_

_"...Are we doing a Monica and Chandler?" she added on._

_Now it was my turn to look confused. "Huh?"_

_"Well I'm guessing when you said how do you want to do this you were talking about the fact that we're going to see each other for the first time. So I was just suggesting that we do a little F.R.I.E.N.D.S. recreation." She was giggling but I was still not getting it._

_"What are you talking about Nik?"_

_"The program, American sitcom... don't tell me you've never heard of it?" _

_"Of course I've heard of it." I said a little grumpily. "I get busy with work but I don't live under a rock you cheeky cow. But that still doesn't explain what you're talking about."_

_"The scene where they ended up in bed together and realise they're going to see each other for the first time. So they both stick their heads under the duvet at the same time."_

_I stared at her and she burst out laughing. "Lorraine babe it was a joke, one that was a lot funnier before I had to explain it. I was just teasing you because you were being so awkward about it. Come on, you're scared, I'm totally bricking it; this is a big thing for both of us. But let's just try be grown ups about it and not behave like we've never seen a naked body before."_

_"Sorry" I felt a little bit stupid now for making such a fuss._

_I felt her lips on mine again. "Shhhh you have nothing to apologise for Lorri. I know you were just trying to make this easier for both of us, but I just want this to be natural okay. I don't want it to be like a scene from a TV program or a film."_

_"Okay" I kissed her back. Her arms wrapped around me and she was pulling me into a sitting position, standing position. Not breaking the kiss the whole time. Just as my feet hit the floor I felt my legs go to jelly beneath me and prepared myself for hitting the ground. But the fall never came. As my legs had gone Nik had realised that I just didn't have the strength to walk and had tightened her hold on me and then physically lifted me off the floor._

_"Wrap your legs around me" she instructed, all thoughts of the awkwardness we'd been scared of before completely gone from our minds._

_I did as she'd told me and wrapped my legs around her waist, my arms around her neck balancing myself, but without the strength to actually hold on properly._

_Luckily I didn't need to. Her army training meant that she was more than strong enough to support my weight even if I couldn't. Once I was securely in her arms I felt her lips crash back into mine again, as we moved, still kissing, into the bathroom. I broke the kiss only long enough to say "so much for not wanting this to be like a scene from a film" before going back to kissing the beautiful woman that, right at that moment, was supporting me in every way she possibly could._


	11. Chapter 11

I honestly don't know what to say about the amazing support I'm getting that I haven't already said, but I'm going to say most of it again anyway. I love you guys, I really appreciate how amazing you all are, and I'm really pleased that you're all enjoying the story so much.

Okay right this chapter's a bit different in that it's only from Lorraine's POV, it's a little bit shorter than the last chapter, and this one is very much M rated.  
I don't normally like giving warnings in the authors note because I don't want to give away what happens in each chapter but in this case I know I need to. Because this chapter contains content about rape. And unlike the last time it came up this time it IS pretty graphic.

I don't really feel like I should have to justify this because hey, I'm the one writing this, but I'm going to explain anyway. For me I think it's necessary to the story. To me it's part of the character development and the development of this story, and it's what would happen if this story was actually happening in real life.

But I know for some people this may be a sensitive topic or you may just not want to read it. So I've been quite careful that although there obviously is a bit of a lead up to it the large majority of this chapter is JUST about Lorraine telling Nikki. That way if you don't want to read this chapter but you are enjoying this story and want to be able to skip past this chapter without missing anything much you can. Parts of what's said WILL be referenced back to for obvious reasons at various points after this, but you won't miss much of anything else if you want to skip past it.

But for everyone else that is okay with this then I hope I don't traumatise any of you too much, thank you for reading, and I hope you think I've done an okay job with this chapter.

Chelsey xxx

_Chapter Eleven_

_**Lorraine**_

_Showering when I could barely stand wasn't the easiest task but somehow we managed it. Most of it was done with her standing behind me, letting me lean against her, holding me up with one arm around my waist. Now and then I'd feel a shiver go through my entire body as her lips would meet the back of my neck, running gently down it._

_We hadn't completely forgotten our lack of clothing. Every so often I could tell she was trying to peer over my shoulder to get a proper look at me and I'd lean on her a little more heavily to prevent her staring. "Oi focus you, I'm not well enough to stand here for longer than necessary so you can keep taking breaks to check me out. If you want to work out whether you could actually be with a woman do it when I'm not about to pass out."_

_"Spoil sport" she teased._

_"And hey I can't see you at all when you're behind me so I'm sorry but this just ain't happening babe." I turned my head around to kiss her and lost my balance slightly. She grabbed hold of me a little tighter and then turned off the shower._

_"Right we're done you're clean enough." She leaned round me and took one of the towels off the side wrapping it around my body, before taking the second and doing the same to herself. "Teeth and then you need to go sit down for a bit. But I'm sorry I don't care how sick you are we need to get something inside you. Let your stomach settle from being dragged around then I'm making you some dry toast. In the meantime I'm getting you a glass of water."_

_"Dry toast AND a glass of water?" I said smirking, not even trying to hide the sarcasm from my voice when I said "You really know how to treat someone."_

_"You can have all the treats you want when I know they're not going to end up down me" she threw back, smiling so I knew she didn't mind._

_She dried herself and then after taking me to sit on the bed disappeared into the guest room. When she came back she was in a pair of navy blue pants and a matching bra._

_"Mmmm nice you staying like that for me?" I asked looking her up and down. She really was gorgeous._

_Blushing she shook her head. "No but I only have work stuff with me, any chance you've got anything I can borrow?"_

_I nodded in the direction of one of my draws and opening it up she removed from it a pair of black cropped tracksuit bottoms and an oversized light blue t-shirt. "Perfect." Once she'd got dressed she came over to me, using her own towel to dry my hair. Satisfied my blond curls weren't soaked anymore she then started rummaging through my other draws until she found me a pair of pants, a pair of black leggings and a long yellow hoodie. "Cute that'll do."_

_Standing behind me she gently eased the towel off me and then started dressing me. "Would that not be easier to do if you were facing me Nik?" I questioned a little bit confused._

_"Yes, but I know you're not a hundred percent about having me just stand and look at you yet."_

_I let her finish dressing me, trying to hold back the tears that were forming in my eyes. I was genuinely touched at how thoughtful she was. It honestly bothered her that I might not be comfortable with her standing in front me so she made things harder for herself to respect how I felt._

_Once she had pulled my clothes onto me she came round to face me so that she could kiss me. As her lips touched mine I slid my hand up the back of her top and undid the catch on her bra. She raised her eyebrows and pulled back from the kiss to look at me._

_"Well I can't have you any more dressed than I am, can I?" I said throwing a cheeky grin at her._

_"Hmmm I guess not" she fiddled around under her t-shirt and took it off completely, throwing it onto the bed. I knew she was just doing it to humour me keep me happy because I wasn't well and I appreciated that more than she knew._

_She led me into the living room and floated off to get us both some water and then a plate of dry toast. It took a while but slowly as we sat and chatted (we were back to discussing work – but hey it was working hours) I managed to get through a couple of slices._

_"You feeling any better now?" she questioned tilting her head at me._

_"Mmmm much" I leant forwards and kissed her again, before proving how much better I was feeling and moving back to my previous position of straddling her. She hesitated for a second, looking back at me, unsure whether I was about to make myself sick again. But she obviously decided that I was looking a bit better because the next moment she was pulling me back into the kiss. And there we were again, caught in the moment. Her hands were on my hips, mine were battling to pull her t-shirt over her head; she then did the same back. Leggings and tracksuit bottoms were removed and so we were back to just pants and making out on my plush leather sofa. (Now completely dry and sick free thanks to Nikki.) _

_But as I felt her hands start to tug at the material over my hips I realised that although I'd initiated it I wasn't ready to go as far as I thought I was._

_"Nik, is it okay if we get dressed for a moment."_

_She looked down at where my hands now covered hers and nodded. "Yeah... sorry..."_

_"No, no it's not what you did... Well sort of... But it's just... Look please can we get dressed. Then I'll explain."_

_"Okay" she barely even looked at me and I could see the hurt and frustration flooding back to her face - but I knew she'd understand in a second._

_Once we were both dressed again I took a deep breath and turned to face her on the sofa, legs curled up beneath me. "Nik, I really want us to... be able to go further. But every time we get to a certain point either something happens or I freak out or... Look part of me wonders if it's the world's way of saying we're moving too fast. This has been what three days? Babe I couldn't even be share a bed with Michael until after it had been like six months. We've been one proper date – that's it. Until recently I didn't even know if I could consider you my girlfriend. So yeah I guess part of my hesitation is because I'm freaking out at how fast this is moving. And I'm not saying that's your fault Nik I know I keep starting stuff as well, and maybe I shouldn't, not if I can't then go through with it, because it's not fair on you, but... Look despite all that, despite how long we've been together, I still really want to do this. I really want us to be together completely. I want to give myself to you. But there's something else stopping me too. And I think it's because... I can't move forwards until I've fully dealt with the past."_

_She had turned on the chair so she matched me, curled up on the sofa, staring at me with her legs tucked underneath her. I could see her take it all in for a moment before nodding slowly, not really sure where I was going. I looked down for a moment, scared that I was about to do something that I'd later come to regret, but knowing that what Nikki had said earlier was right, sometimes you had to take a risk._

_Looking up and staring straight into her eyes I said, with far more confidence than I felt "I wondered if maybe I could tell you what happened to me, fully tell you what happened to me."_

_I felt her hand quickly move to mine. "Of course you can sweetheart."_

_"I know it sounds really stupid but... I feel like I need to. Before we can... you know?"_

_"Go any further" she said softly, "That's not stupid at all." And as I looked at her I could see nothing but understanding in her face._

_"Yeah" I nodded, feeling terrified that I was about to do this, that I was about to open myself up this much, make myself this vulnerable to someone; but also relieved that she was being so wonderful about all_

_"Okay darling, I'm ready when you are."_

_"Okay" I took a deep breath and shut my eyes. I couldn't look at her while I did this, I just couldn't. After a few seconds more of building myself up, I began. "I... I was on the floor. She had me pinned down to with my hands above my head. She tore my dress off first. I just... remember begging her to stop. Telling her we would, promising we would, just not tonight. Not like that. But she just ignored me and kept telling me I could be her whore like I was for all the boys at school. I knew I should say something but I couldn't. I just couldn't find the words."_

_I felt Nikki's hand tighten on mine._

_"Then she undid my bra and took that off. Grabbed my knickers and pulled those off too. And I'm fighting her off, but the more I fight her the rougher she gets. And then she's dragging my legs apart and I... and I can feel her start to touch me." I cringe at the memory and consider stopping. Why was I doing this to myself? Because I had to, a voice in my head said honestly, and because I need to._

_"Shhhh it's okay Lorri I'm here." Nik's hand tightens on mine again._

_"And then I feel her force her fingers inside me. And it hurt. It hurt so much. And I just remember her laughing and saying it had been a while and I'd got all tight again but it was okay I wouldn't be by the time she was done with me. And I wanted to tell her, I wanted to tell her so much that I never had but I couldn't. And I was still fighting her and so she started to be really rough and I just remember looking down and there was blood everywhere. My blood. And it went on and on and I kept begging her to stop, over and over again, but she just ignored me. I tried to tell her I knew this wasn't her and talk her around and she just slapped me across the face and told me to shut my mouth. Then finally she stood up and told me not to move. Part of me hoped it was over but I knew deep down it wasn't and so I tried to run, but then she came back and caught me and threw me back onto the floor. I looked at her and she was standing above me with a beer bottle in her hand. It was empty, she must have drunk it first..."_

_"That's why you've never had any in the house" Nikki didn't seem to realise she was speaking out loud. I opened my eyes at this point and she was staring at me so intensely with a look of horror spreading across her face at the realisation of where this was going and also everything that it was starting to explain. Then she noticed that I'd stopped and going a little red whispered "I'm sorry darling, go on..."_

_I wanted to reassure her, tell her I didn't mind her reaction, but I couldn't, so instead I simply nodded, shut my eyes again, and continued before I couldn't. "She was so angry that I tried to run. She just stood screaming at me for a bit; then she... she forced it inside me." I swallowed "And while she was doing that she moved down so she was half laying on me and started kissing my chest. And she only had one hand on the bottle and didn't need the other one to hold me down because I was basically pinned anyway and in so much pain there was no way I could go anywhere, so she moved the other hand further back past where the bottle was, and then she pushed them her fingers into me there as well."_

_Nikki's hand tightened on mine again, I didn't need to open my eyes to know that if I had she'd have looked as sick as I felt._

_"And... And I couldn't take it anymore so I tried to escape. It was the hardest thing in the world to even move an inch because most of her weight was on me and also every time I moved I ended up pushing the bottle and her fingers further inside me... But then it seemed to have stopped her because she moved off my chest and took her fingers out of me, although she left the bottle in. Except then she moved round so she was facing away from me but sitting on my abdomen so I couldn't move anywhere. I could barely breathe. Then she suddenly put both hands round the bottle and... and she just... she pushed it in with all the force she could manage. She was so rough with it that it broke inside me. I just remember moving my head to the side and looking down... there was glass and blood everywhere. I just remember screaming in pain and then throwing up on the carpet next to me. But she didn't care. She laughed. She laughed and then she took the pieces of bottle out of me and then dragged me to my feet and threw me onto the sofa. Then she started using her mouth down there as well. She kept biting me."_

_I had to stop for a second tears took over and I could no longer speak. I could hardly even breathe. Nikki used her spare hand that wasn't holding mine to put around my waist and hold me closer to her._

_"Are you sure you don't want to stop sweetheart?"_

_I shook my head. I just needed to get through telling her the rest as quickly as possible. Eyes still shut I continued._

_"And then she had me by the hair and made me do the same to her but I didn't really know what I was doing, and so she got angry and told me I was useless and that she hated me and that I was a shit fuck and no one would ever want me. Then she took hold of my hand and forced my fingers inside her, but my little finger was at such an angle it got bend to the side and just snapped." I felt violently sick again by this point and was starting to wish that Nikki had brought my bowl with her._

_"And she just let my finger hang to the side and made me watch while she finished herself off with my hand. Then she just got dressed and left. And I was still bleeding everywhere but I couldn't go to the hospital because she'd said if I did she'd kill me because they'd all know. And I knew I couldn't face the humiliation of everyone knowing what had happened to me and poking me around and... So I just sat and tried to stop the bleeding and get any little bits of glass out of me, and then I strapped my little finger up to my ring finger and..."_

_I trailed off. None of the rest seemed relevant anymore. All I knew was that Nikki was now clinging onto me; she'd dropped my hand in favour of having both hands around my waist. When I finally looked at her she was pale and her whole face was tear stained. She opened her mouth to speak but whatever she wanted to say obviously just wouldn't come out because then she shut it again._

_I nodded. Because actually she didn't need to speak, her eyes conveyed perfectly clearly the message that her lips couldn't. She understood, she was sorry, and she loved me. _


	12. Chapter 12

Um would someone mind telling me what the feck that episode was about? Like excuse me but firstly they were clearly both in a fowl mood but that was pretty much it. And tbh even then Nikki's mood didn't seem that bad baring in mind she got dumped by someone that she clearly dotes on less than a week ago. WTAF.

Also Michael didn't tell Christine about Lorikki? He made a HUGE ass thing about not keeping secrets from her but we are SERIOUSLY expected to believe that he wouldn't mention that at all to her?

But hell why would he, apparently NO ONE thinks it's worth a mention. Michael and Sonya had a whole conversation where neither of them mentioned anything that happened last week.

Anyway back to this... The response to the last chapter was so much more than I ever could have asked for. Like seriously you guys. 3 I am so touched so many of you are not only reading but taking the time to review this for me. You are beautiful beautiful people. 3

And I know some people have been wondering so for those of you that are, my twitter is hugsandskittles. Yes I do use it but I'm currently experiencing some technical difficulties. But you're all welcome to DM me because that apparently works. But that and favouriting is sadly all I can do right now.

Anyway here's chapter twelve. Enjoy my lovelies.

Chelsey xx

Chapter Twelve

**Nikki**

There have been a few times over the past couple of days that we'd ended up sitting in silence, neither of us completely sure what to say. But this one was by far the longest. I held onto her for over an hour before either of us were ready to talk. It was Lorraine that eventually did break the silence. Her voice croaky from both the tears and the more recent lack of use.

"Sorry, did I say too much?"

She was looking at me, worry etched across her face; all her insecurities out in the open for anyone to see. I gently let go of her of her waist from one of my hands to take hold of one of hers. "Of course not, I told you that you could tell me everything and I meant it." I paused "How do you feel now?"

"Exposed" she whispered, and when her eyes met mine I knew she was looking for some kind of reassurance.

I squeezed her hand and kissed her softly on the forehead. She flinched but I expected that. I knew reliving everything would make things harder for a while. "I know sweetheart but it's just me okay, and I promise you that no matter what, everything you've just told me will never ever go anywhere else okay? I will take it all to my grave with me, I promise."

"But you'll still always know" she couldn't look at me anymore, the humiliation of having shared all that, told me something so personal, was hitting her again.

I wanted to take hold of her chin as I'd done during our fight earlier but I knew it was too soon. I was still amazed she'd accepted my hug, allowed me to hold onto her hand. I certainly wasn't going to push it. So instead of trying to move her to look at me I ducked my own head to look at her. "I will, but that's okay. It hasn't changed what I think of you or how I feel about you. The only difference is now I know what you're been through. Now I understand you just a little bit better."

"How?" her voice was louder now, she was almost shouting. "How has it not changed anything? How can I have told you all of that and you don't look at me any differently. I look at me differently, even now, even after all these years. Every now and then I'll catch myself in a mirror and all I can see is what she did to me. All I can see is my body, like it's not even mine, broken and beaten and totally fucked up by what she did. So how can you look at me and not see that too?" She was almost crying again, I could see the tears in her eyes threatening to spill over.

"Because" I spoke louder too, more firmly "when I look at you and think about that I see your strength, not your weakness. I look at you and I see someone that's stronger than I could ever be; someone that's been through all of that and who's still tough as nails. Still going around kicking ass, and that's gone on to really make something of herself. I see someone that's as beautiful as they are damaged, that's as brave as they are insecure..."

"But I am damaged."

I signed softly. "Aren't we all damaged by what we've been through babe?"

A small smile; "I guess." She hesitates and then she looks at me questioningly. "Aren't you scared?"

"Scared?"

She hesitates again and then goes on. "Of this. Of everything. Scared about the fact you've fallen for a woman? Scared of what that means? Scared about how people are going to react? And does it not frighten you at all that of all the women in the world this could have happened with it's happened with me, someone with more baggage than the queen moving house."

I laughed slightly at the metaphor and then thought carefully about what she was asking me; and why. I knew that the reason she was asking me now wasn't just curiosity. She'd just opened up and poured her heart and soul out to me and now she needed something back. She needed me to be equally as honest about my insecurities and fears. "Yeah, I'm scared. Terrified. I meant what I said all those days ago, this scares the shit out of me too. I've never done this before. I don't know what I'm supposed to do, how I'm supposed to tell people, how they're going to react. I don't know whether I'm ready to deal with all of that, if I'll ever be ready. I don't know if I could ever face my old army buddies with them knowing. If I could even face my own family. And as far as falling for you, does it bother me that I'm with someone that's gone through what you have? No, of course not darling. Does it make it harder in some ways because we have more to deal with, of course, I'm not going to lie to you. We both know that it's making this harder. But in some ways I guess it makes it easier too. Because we both need to take this slow, we're both still finding our feet and fighting through our insecurities."

"Yeah" she nodded, and I could see her absorbing everything that I was telling her. Then slowly she started to speak. "I thought, that once I'd told you, I'd be ready. I'd be ready to say let's give this a go, let's be a proper couple – hell I thought I'd be ready to go the whole way with you. And then I did do it and actually it almost made me feel the complete opposite. I didn't know whether I could even kiss you again, I didn't know whether I could even continue on with this relationship anymore. But now, now I know that I want this. I want to be with you. I want us to be together, as a couple. And I know some things are going to take time. I know we've both got a lot of adjusting to do, and that the physical side is going to take a lot of trying and failing for us both to be ready. But I know this is worth it. You're worth it."

She looked at me, and I could see her eyes had lit up slightly, like some life had finally come back to her after everything that had happened the past couple of days. I smiled back, feeling relief flood through me too. She'd been right, right when she said that she needed to tell me everything before this could properly move forward; but actually I had needed to do the same. Open up to her as well.

"I think you're worth it too" I said back, kissing her softly on the forehead again, still not wanting to push her too far with the physical contact at the moment.

"Nik?" she looked at me suddenly, worry flooding back to her face again.

"Yes"

"The burns on my chest feel like they're weeping a bit."

Oh god this was the last thing we needed now, it was one medical emergency after another at the moment. "Okay sweetheart; are they hurting any more than they were before?"

"A little bit but then I've been distracted from them because of the stomach bug so I don't really know."

"Lorri you really need to go to see a proper doctor babe."

She shook her head at me. I still didn't completely understand her aversion to getting medical attention but I was sure I'd find out eventually. In the meantime though...

"Would it be okay for me to take a look at them?"

"Yeah, course."

I had to admit I was pretty pleased when she said that, we obviously hadn't gone as far backwards as I thought. At least she was still okay with me seeing her. I helped her get her top off over her head and then got her to lay down on the sofa so I could look at her properly. "Yeah it's weeping a bit in places but it's clear so you're not infected. I'm going to put more of the ointment on you okay? Then if you leave it in the open for a bit to dry out and then when you need to get dressed I'll bandage you up."

"Okay" she nodded, peering down at her chest with a look of both concern but also slight horror. "I am going to have some seriously nasty scars aren't I?"

"It looks worse than it is with second degree burns a lot of the time. They take quite a while to heal but unlike third degree burns the scaring is usually a little more minimal. I had hoped you wouldn't get any but they're a bit worse than I thought so yeah, you're almost definitely going to get some scaring but as long as we look after the burns well it shouldn't be as bad as you're expecting."

"Okay" she looked a little bit worried and forgetting my pact with myself not to do anything first, I leant down and kissed her.

"I honestly wouldn't even worry about it. You're beautiful, a few little scars aren't going to change that."

"Thank you" she said softly kissing me back although still not looking completely convinced.

I went and got everything she needed and then set about massaging ointment and cream all over her. I felt her flinch as my hands touched her breasts but other than that she just lay in silence watching me work. Once I was done I wriggled behind her and let her lay on me with my arms around her middle so that her burns weren't being touched but we could still be close to each other.

**Lorraine**

I hadn't even realised I'd fallen asleep on Nikki until I opened my eyes and the room was pitch black. "Um babe what happened to the light?"

"It left at about half seven this evening" she said laughing gently, "on which note as you're now awake I can move you off me and go and pee before I have an accident."

She shuffled herself out from underneath me and then raced off to the toilet, leaving me laughing and looking around for the time. Quarter to nine. I couldn't even remember what time it was when we'd first laid here but I was pretty sure it was more than a few hours ago.

Nikki walked back in and I turned to face her. "How long have we been laying there?"

"Since about half one"

"And you've been awake all that time?"

"God no. I fell asleep at about half two and woke up an hour or so ago. I think we've both worn ourselves out. Do you want some dinner?"

"Yeah please" I said realising how hungry I actually was. "My body's just realised how little it's got in it and I think I could eat a horse. What take out do you want?"

"Don't be stupid I'll cook" Nikki said walking towards my kitchen and starting to rummage through my cupboards. I found myself blushing as she asked. "Um Lorraine, why is there basically no food in here? Haven't you heard of... I don't know. Meat, vegetables, fruit, stock cubes... You know, just those basic things most of us have in our kitchens."

"I've got some cereal..."

"And an entire cupboard dedicated to coffee from the look of it. Holy shit Lorraine how much of this stuff do you have?"

"Just a bit" I said pouting a little. "Hey I said we could have take out."

Nikki nodded. "Fine we'll have take out tonight, but this weekend I'm taking you shopping for some ACTUAL food."

"Fine" I agreed grumpily. "Now if you're done criticising the content of my cupboards then maybe you'd like to tell me what it is you want."

"You can pick" she replied, still distracted looking around my kitchen. "Lorraine has this oven ever been used?"

"Yes, I warm stuff up in it all the time. I just clean it properly afterwards. And in that case I fancy kebab if that's okay with you?"

"Warm stuff up in it" Nikki mused. "But yeah kebab will be great."

I phoned up and ordered kebab from the local shop. They didn't normally deliver but they know me and so make an exception. By the time I was done on the phone Nikki had grown tired of examining my kitchen its lack of food and equipment and had come to join me again on the sofa.

"Are you okay with me answering the door?" She looked at me a little nervously and I stared at her blankly.

"Why can't I answer it?"

"Because if you open the door like that you might give the poor delivery guy a bit of a shock" Nik replied with a smirk.

I looked down and remembered by chest was still bare. "No wonder I'm so bloody cold, but yeah of course... why wouldn't I be okay with it?"

"Because if I open the door then they're going to know I'm here."

It took me another second before I realised what she meant. "They'll just assume you're a friend anyway. But even if they don't I don't care. It's none of their business what I do or who I have in my apartment."

"Fair enough" she ran her hand along the centre of my chest sending a shiver down my spine. "That's dried up a bit now, so if you want we can go and get you into bed so you can snuggle down under the duvet. That's as long as you don't mind us eating on your bed?"

I did, but I knew she'd just tease me about being prim and proper if I told her I normally ate kebab at the table on a plate with a knife and fork. "Nope that's fine."

We both walked into my room, something I managed to do unaided for the first time in nearly 24 hours, and sat down on the edge of the bed.

"You gonna take these off and get into pyjama bottoms so you're ready for bed when we're done?" Nikki asked, pulling slightly on the waistband of my leggings.

"Yeah, I think that would be a good idea actually, I know I've just been asleep for hours but I'm still feeling pretty shattered." I looked at her a little shyly. "Um do I actually need pyjama bottoms or can I just take my leggings off?" I didn't know why I was suddenly so embarrassed about it. I think it was because I knew Nik wasn't going to be expecting it and I wasn't sure whether she'd be a bit weird about me eating in just a pair of pants.

"Of course you can, why are you being all shy on me again Miss D it's not like I've not seen you wearing that little before?"

"I don't know. Just wasn't sure if it was weird me just eating in so few clothes. I mean I know I'll be under the duvet but even so. And I guess I just... I don't know. I didn't know if you'd be weird about me just randomly taking my clothes off. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable..."

"Darling it's your home, if you want to walk around completely naked then that's totally up to you. Actually..."

"Don't even think about it" I said smirking slightly.

"Seriously though I know I'm not used to this being with a women thing but if your naked body was going to make me that uncomfortable I think I'd have realised by now and mayyyy-be suggested that perhaps us being an us wasn't that good an idea."

I laughed just as the door went and she walked off to go and get the food. I heard her fiddling around in the kitchen and next minute she was in with the chips and kebabs on two plates and carrying bottles of ketchup, brown sauce, salt and vinegar under her arms. (Although no cutlery!) "Wasn't sure what you liked with your chips so I thought I'd cover everything."

Smiling back at her I quickly got out of my leggings and then shuffled along the bed under the covers, taking my plate off her when I was comfy and watching her shove all the bottles on the side.

"I was going to open a bottle of wine but I think you need to steer away from anything but water for the time being."

"Nik"

"Yes babe" she looked at me as she sat down on the edge of the bed with her own plate.

"You not getting in?"

"Into the bed?"

"Well yeah..." I felt myself go red. "It's okay don't worry about it you don't have to."

She put her plate on the side and moved over to me so that her legs were curled up under her and she was facing me. "Hey it's not that I don't want to but I wasn't sure whether last night was a one off because of the sofa and the puking and everything. I didn't want to just assume it was okay to do the same tonight."

"It's okay like I said you don't have to but I mean... the offer's there if you want it." I tried to be as casual as I could about it but the truth was if she turned around now and said she didn't want to I would probably cry.

But actually she didn't say anything, she pulled her own t-shirt over her head, took the tracksuit bottoms off and shoving them both on the floor by the bed, and climbed in next to me, grabbing her plate at the same time.

We both caught each other's eyes and smiled but didn't say anything.

After we'd finished the kebabs we both put our plates onto the side and exhausted, without saying another word, we curled up next to each other, falling asleep for the second night in a row in each other's arms.


	13. Chapter 13

Hello again my lovelies.

Firstly to whoever left me the ask this morning, thank you again for being so sweet and you were also my first ever question asker, so thank you for that too.

If any of the rest of you want to speak to me then my account is Chelsey2013 - feel free to drop in and say hi.

Anyway here's chapter 13 - unlucky for some including poor Lorraine.

Hope you all enjoy xx

_Chapter Thirteen_

_**Nikki**_

_The following morning Lorraine was completely healthy again and so we both clambered out of bed at half five to get ready for work. Once we were both ready (I was extremely grateful for the fact that I actually had some work stuff with me) we paused to give one another a quick kiss goodbye at the door and then both jumped into our separate cars._

_It wasn't that we didn't want to be seen turning up together as we had both the previous mornings, but we knew if we did it too many mornings in a row people would start to talk. And although our relationship was now making slow but steady progress, we knew that neither of us were ready for the entire world to know. Not just yet anyway._

_I made my way to my classroom to shove all of my marking on my desk and nearly jumped out of my skin when I found Michael standing behind me._

_"Morning Nikki"_

_"I um... morning Michael. You really gave me a fright then."_

_"After all those years of army training I give you a fright walking up behind you in a classroom? I'm disappointed Nikki" he teased and I smiled back. "So how are you this morning?"_

_"Much better thanks" I replied, not missing a beat. "Lots of work to catch up on though so if you don't mind I'm probably going to get on with that now."_

_"Oh of course" he nodded "I'll see you later Nikki."_

_I nodded and then watched him leave, relieved that he hadn't questioned where I'd been the previous day further._

_**Lorraine**_

_I saw Michael walking in but didn't look up, too absorbed in my paperwork to worry about what he was doing in our joint office._

_"Hi Lorraine"_

_"Hi Michael"_

_"How are you today?"_

_"Much better thanks" I replied. Like Nikki I'd been prepared for his appearance, but unlike Nikki I at least didn't have to worry about remembering a lie. "Stomach bugs are nasty things, probably got it from one of those scummy children we have floating around here."_

_"I'm so pleased you decided a school would be the best venture for you" Michael's reply came laced with sarcasm which I chose to ignore._

_"Mmmm me too" I looked up at him for the first time. "Anyway, what's up? What did I miss?"_

_"Not much, we struggled a bit because Christine was off too so with her and Nikki both gone and no budget for supply teachers we were forced to start pushing classes together."_

_"Well in the future I suggest if you already know one of the English department is going to be off that day you try and get your girlfriend to make a little bit more effort to get to work."_

_"Yeah, because Christine's lack of effort is the issue, not the fact we don't have money for supply teachers."_

_"Oh Michael don't start I have too much work to catch up on to be dealing with your whining this early in the morning." I looked back down at the computer screen in front of me, starting to check through my emails. Michael sighed and went to the other side of the room, looking out the window onto the school grounds._

_Just as I was about to continue speaking the door flew open and Sonya came into view. "Oh my god why didn't you tell me that you and Miss Boston were an item?"_

_My eyes flew up. "What are you talking about Sonya?" I could feel my heart beginning to race and the feeling of wanting to be sick started to resurface._

_"I saw you and her this morning, leaving your apartment. You kissed her" she was grinning at me and I've never wanted to slap the grin off someone's face more. While she was talking this time, Michael had walked from the window so that he was standing next to my chair. I saw Sonya nearly fall over in shock. "Oh my god Mr Byrne, I hadn't seen you there."_

_"Clearly not" his voice was curt, cutting. "Sonya can you give us a minute please?"_

_"Yeah, sure" she looked at me "sorry Lorraine" I could tell that she felt guilty and hadn't meant to blab it out in front of anyone, but I was still livid._

_"Just get out Sonya."_

_The door shut and Michael turned on me. "So hang on MY girlfriend needs to make more effort to get in, but yours can stay off when there was nothing even wrong with her? Were either of you actually ill or did you both just fancy a day in bed together?"_

_I scowled at him. "Don't you dare speak to me like that. Yes, I was genuinely ill, and Nikki is a friend that happened to be around sorting out paperwork with me when I came over feeling sick, and so she stayed to look after me."_

_"A friend that your sister saw you making out with this morning?"_

_"That's not what she said Michael, keep your little fantasies to yourself."_

_Suddenly a thought seemed to cross his mind and he lowered his voice slightly before asking "so was this why you never wanted us to...?"_

_I felt my face flush. "No, and Michael we're not talking about this any further."_

_A knock at the door, and then Nikki popped her head round. Oh god why was her timing so dire. "Hi Lorraine, Michael could I ask you something please?"_

_"If I can do the same back?"_

_"Sure" she nodded looking a little confused._

_"How long exactly have you and Miss Donnegan here been seeing each other?"_

_Her face dropped and she looked at me in shock. I froze. My first instinct was to deny it again, but although we'd agreed not to tell anyone yet I wasn't sure how she'd take me out and out lying about it. So instead I just made a face at her, hoping she'd get the message._

_"What like hanging out outside school? Um not long, just while we've been sorting out all this paperwork stuff for the changes Lorraine's been making to the timetable and everything."_

_I nearly sighed with relief. Thank god Nikki was on the ball. More than my sister was._

_"Right" Michael looked from one to the other of us before rolling his eyes and saying "whatever you say, I'll see you both in the staffroom in a bit."_

_Nikki looked at me. "What the hell was that about? I thought we weren't telling anyone yet? How did he find out?"_

_I groaned. "Sonya saw us leaving this morning and opened her mouth before she realised he was in the room."_

_"Oh... how did she take it?"_

_I shrugged. "Okay I think, she was in a bit of a strop when she left but I think that's more to do with the fact I got a bit snappy with her."_

_Nikki looked at me a little awkwardly. "Oh... okay."_

_"You think I should speak to her don't you?" Why was Nikki always so bloody nice?_

_"I would definitely suggest it yeah."_

_"To apologise?"_

_"Yup" she said with a small grin and then walked towards me, placing a gentle kiss on my lips._

_"Mmmmm okay" I muttered, not really feeling like apologising but wanting to argue about it with Nikki less._

_Just over an hour later and I found myself sitting in the whole school assembly listening to Michael go on and on about some kind of competition while making faces at Nikki across the hall. When I saw Sonya sneak in from the side and start to chat to Rhiannon Nik give me a meaningful glance and I walked over to my younger sister. "Outside, now."_

_She scowled at me but followed me out. "What Lorraine?"_

_"Oi, drop the attitude" I looked down, I hated apologising, why was Nikki making me do this? "Look I'm sorry alright, I didn't mean to snap at you earlier."_

_"Don't worry about it, I'm used to it." I knew she'd meant it as a dig but at least she seemed to have cheered up a bit now. "So are you gonna tell me how long this has been going on for now?"_

_"Sonya it's none of your damn business. I said I'm sorry for snapping, but I wouldn't have had to if you could keep that bloody mouth of yours shut."_

_"Yeah so it's my fault I only found out that my sister was fucking one of her co-workers when I saw them leave her apartment together. Maybe if you actually told me stuff, acted like you were actually my sister..."_

_"Oh Sonya for god sake don't start this. You're being stupid."_

_"Stupid am I?" She was starting to shout and I became increasingly grateful that the hall the assembly was taking place in was soundproof. "Yeah of course, stupid Sonya that can't do anything right. You know what Lorraine I might be stupid but at least unlike you I'm actually capable of being a half decent human being. You know what you are Lorraine? You're a bitch. You think you're so much better than everyone else, so much better than me, but you're not. You're not actually all that Lo. You might be a success in business but you're a fuck up in life."_

_I turned my head slightly and... shit. My jaw must have dropped open in horror as I realised that the hall doors were now open. Michael had obviously ended assembly and opened the doors ready to let everyone out. Oh god how long had they been open for? How much of my fight with my sister had everyone heard?_

_"I'm surprised you even have a fucking girlfriend. I don't know how Miss Boston puts up with you. You're cold hearted, nasty... You're a bully. Is that how you got her into bed? Or have you not fucked her at all yet? Because don't think I don't know that all that stuff when you were in school was bullshit. You never went with any of those guys – like they'd ever want you. You might be pretty but you've got no heart. It's not like you could even make love to anyone; that would mean actually loving them in the first place..."_

_"Enough" I screamed, well aware that the entire school were currently listening to us and while Sonya had been going on some had moved to try and see. Michael was pushing them back, I looked up and caught his eyes, felt my whole face go red and I turned away._

_I saw Sonya look around at the open door, I saw her jaw drop, I saw the look of horror on her face as she turned back to me, realising what she'd done. And I could see her mouth open, an apology on her tongue, but I didn't want to hear it. I turned on my 4 inch heels and I ran, as fast as I could, away from the hall, away from everyone, humiliation burning on my cheeks._

_**Nikki **_

_I felt eyes on me as I crossed the room, everyone looking, laughing, judging. But I didn't care. I would, later, when what just happened had properly sunk in. But for now all I was worried about was going after Lorraine; finding her._

_I felt my legs carrying me down corridor after corridor, desperately trying to work out where she might have gone._

_At one point I turned a corner and went straight into Michael._

_"Have you seen her?" I asked, trying to ignore the fact that my cheeks were probably an interesting shade of scarlet right now._

_"No, have you?"_

_"Obviously not or I wouldn't still be looking for her."_

_"Nikki this isn't my fault."_

_"No, you're the one that opened the door; you're the one that then just left it open."_

_"You know that's not how it was Nikki. I tried to get to shut it but the entire school were..."_

_"Michael I'm not interested."_

_"More to the point Nikki, why didn't she do something? I saw her look, saw her realise the door was open. So why didn't she stop her?"_

_"She tried"_

_"Too busy worrying about doing it subtly, like everyone hadn't already noticed. Like they weren't already listening to every word._

_"Yeah, thanks Michael."_

_"Look if you find her then do me a favour and take her home. I'll get cover for you for the rest of the day. I think you both need some time to sort this out and there's no point either of you being here until everyone's had a little bit of time to calm down. If you go into a classroom at the moment it's just going to descend into chaos."_

_"I can still do my job Michael."_

_"Not if the kids won't let you." _

_I could have stayed and argued but I had far bigger issues right now, like finding Lorraine. So I shrugged my shoulders and walked off, praying that I found her soon._

_**Lorraine**_

_I saw Nikki looking towards me and turned away, not even able to look her in the eye._

_"How did you know where to find me?"_

_I looked up quickly, saw a small smile appear on her face. "Because I know you well enough to know you'll always return to your routes. The naughty teenager that's been caught doing something she shouldn't and so goes off on her own to hide behind the bike shed and smoke."_

_"I haven't touched a cigarette in years" I said putting the one in my hand out on the floor and then sighing. "Nik... I don't know if I can do this anymore."_

_I saw the hurt flash across her face for a second, but then she just rolled her eyes. "Not playing this game Lorraine. They all know now. No it's not ideal, but they do. Us breaking up won't stop them talking, it'll just increase it. Now come on, I've already got both our bags, we're going home. Michael doesn't want us here today, thinks we'll just cause a ruckus."_

_Normally I'd have argued, insisted on staying at work, but instead I just shrugged my shoulders. "Okay"_

_"I'll go via mine so I can grab some more stuff and then I'll meet you at yours."_

_"Okay"_

_I didn't comment on the fact that she had just invited herself over again, or the fact that if she stayed much longer she may as well bloody move in. I didn't have the strength to try and work things out, analyse everything that was going on between us right now. All I could do was agree, and then let her lead me across the playground to our cars. _


	14. Chapter 14

Not gonna lie I hated writing this chapter which is probably why it's taken so long. I find stuff like this actually more awkward then chapter 11 (I think it was chapter 11) to write so yeah... I hope my awkwardness doesn't show too much in this chapter and it isn't too bad.

Thank you again for the wonderful support you've all shown me. I love reading all your comments and asks etc.

So without further ado I'm just gonna get on with this haha. Hope you enjoy xx

P.s. Again this is definitely an M rated chapter. ;)

_Chapter Fourteen_

_**Nikki**_

_When she opened the door to me she hadn't changed. She was still wearing her fitted black knee length dress and black heels. I hadn't either. I'd literally went into my house, grabbed a handful of toiletries and bits, some work clothes, some round the house or workout clothes, and some clean underwear. Then I'd turned around and left again straight away, not bothering to change out of my skinny black work trousers and plum coloured shirt._

_I took a second longer to look at her. One thing had changed, she now had no make-up on and her face was tear stained. "Oh babe, come here" I dropped my bag on the floor and pulled her into a hug._

_"She's right though, why would you want to be with me. I'm nothing but a bitch, all I do is upset everyone and piss them off, why didn't you just run before when I gave you the chance?"_

_"So that's what that was about, not you running away this time but you thinking you're not good enough for me? Lorri that's bullshit and we both know it."_

_"No, we don't" she looked at me, cheeks red and sore looking from all the crying she'd obviously been doing since we went our separate ways in the car park._

_"Yes, we do. At least I do." I pulled her towards me and slowly started kissing her, still aware of the conversation from the previous day, but knowing that nothing mattered more now than showing her how much she meant to me._

_After a few minutes of kissing in her doorway we broke apart and walked into the house. I shoved my stuff onto the floor in her room (there was no point putting it in the guest bedroom we both were more than aware of where I was going to end up again tonight) and then headed into the living room._

_"Now everyone knows" she whispered, looking at me uncertainly._

_"I know, but I guess at least that means we're allowed to make out in your office now."_

_She couldn't stop a small smile appearing on her face. "Hey I don't think so, I'm sure we had some rules about behaviour in the work place." Her face fell again. "But that's not just what I meant."_

_I nodded, understanding. "About you at school and stuff? Lorraine you really think they're all that interested in how much you got at school? They're far too busy worrying about how much they're getting... and possibly a little bit about how much you're getting now." I teased._

_"Well maybe we should give them something to really talk about then" she said, looking at me suddenly with a look in her eyes I couldn't quite place. Feistiness, determination, passion, anger, love... a mixture of all of them perhaps?_

_And then I was being hauled to my feet and dragged to the bedroom, pushed backwards on the bed as she straddled me and began kissing me with as much force as she could master._

_"Lorraine, wait" she stopped, and I could see the fear in her eyes. "Are you sure about this beautiful?"_

_"I've never been surer about anything else in my entire life. I'm so sick of all of this. All of this drama; all of this shit. I'm so sick of spending my whole life worrying about what other people think. Because in the end Nik people are always going to gossip, aren't they? So you know what, I love you, and I think you love me too, and if people are going to talk about us then let them talk. But I'm sick of everyone else dictating what we can and can't do. I want to be with you, completely, and I don't want what happened to me when I was nineteen to stop that. I want to lose my virginity, properly this time, and I want to lose it to you."_

_She was bright red, obviously embarrassed by what she was saying, but there was a conviction in her voice that I hadn't heard before. I spoke, carefully, not sure how to explain what I wanted to without upsetting her. "I do love you, but I want our first time, your first time, I want it to be special. I want it to be about love, not making a point."_

_"The only point" Lorraine continued, "that I'm trying to make, is how much you mean to me, and how much I love you."_

_We looked at each other for a second and then I felt myself pulling her towards me, kissing her again, with a passion I didn't even know it was possible to feel. We fell backwards, a messy tangle of limbs, with me landing on her chest as we went._

_"Ouch" I heard a small whimper from beneath me and remembered that her chest was still covered in second degree burns. I stopped for a second. "Sweetheart I don't want your burns to stop us, but we can only do this if you promise me that if it hurts too much you'll tell me. I will be as gentle as I can but I don't want to risk doing more damage to you so if you can't guarantee..."_

_"I promise" she interrupted, kissing me again, shutting me up completely. "And anyway if it's okay with you I'd like... to be on top for a bit?"_

_I nodded understanding why immediately. "Of course beautiful."_

_She rolled on top of me and we returned to kissing. I felt her fingers start to unbutton my shirt, shaking as they did it, and then stopped her again._

_"Lorri look at me for a moment."_

_She did._

_"Sweetheart I know that you wanted to be in control and I understand why, but babe you're shaking so much you can't even undo my shirt. I know this is terrifying for you. I mean it's terrifying for me so I can't even imagine how much worse it is for you; but you said you wanted this to be about our love, and that you didn't want it to be about proving a point or dictated at all by the past. Then please sweetheart, if you're not ready for this yet then I want us to stop. I don't want you to regret this because you needed to wait a little bit longer but you thought you'd gone too far through with it to do that. I'm not her babe. You can stop this at any time you want to."_

_I saw big wet tears start to fall down her cheeks and watched her carefully nod her head. "Please... please can we stop."_

_"Of course we can." I held her in my arms for a few minutes, rocking her slightly as though she were a small child. "I know it's only like lunchtime but you want to get snuggled up in bed and watch a film or something."_

_"Yeah, yeah that'd be nice." She said softly._

_"Okay I'll grab us both something comfier to wear..."_

_"No"_

_I looked at her confused. "You don't want to get changed?"_

_"No I do I just..." she didn't finish her sentence. Instead she leant forwards and started unbuttoning my shirt. Miraculously now there was no intention behind it she managed to do it in seconds. Well I thought there was no intention behind it... but then what was she doing? I decided to let it play through and allowed her to strip me down to just underwear and then watched as she kicked off her heels and pulled her dress over her head._

_"Stand up"_

_I did as I was told and stood up. She moved round to be in front of me and then leant behind me, unhooking the catch on my bra, pulling it off. Next she slid my pants over my hips to the floor. Silently I did the same back to her, first taking off her bra and then doing the same with her pants. I looked at her carefully, watching her blush as she thought about the fact I'd now seen her. Properly this time._

_"You're perfect."_

_She shook her head "No I'm not, but you are."_

_We kissed, with less force than before but with no less emotion. I felt her hands drift to my hips and slid my arms around her back._

_**Lorraine**_

_I moved my kisses to the side of her neck, sucking softly on her pulse point, pleased when I moved to see that I'd left a mark. I continued down her, kissing her shoulder blade, the top of her chest, between her breasts. And then slowly I moved my right hand to cup one, running my fingers over her nipple, watching it react to my touch._

_I slowly bent lower, my kisses trailing the whole way down her middle to just below her pelvic bone. I felt her tense but I knew Nikki well enough to know that if she wanted me to stop she'd stop me._

_I moved further down, kissing lower and lower until I reached her opening and looked up at her. I could see she was scared, probably just as scared as I was. Up until now she'd been playing it all pretty cool. I mean there were odd moments when she admitted she was scared about all this, and I'd occasionally seen hints of panic in her eyes, but as a whole she'd dealt with everything pretty calmly. But now she was seriously freaking out. And she also looked embarrassed, shy even. "It's okay, I love you" I whispered._

_And I moved lower still, my lips meeting her clit and feeling her whole body shake at the touch. I kissed her and then stood up again, leading her slowly backwards onto the bed. When she was flat on her back I slid between her legs and moved back to my previous position. My lips slowly explored her, and then I carefully let my tongue do the same. I knew that if I wanted to get her to climax then I probably should stick with her clit, but it wasn't just about the finish. It was about learning about her body, what to do, what she liked. I continued kissing and running my tongue over her for a little bit longer, enjoying her squirming, enjoying watching her become wetter as I played. I was pleased that she was just lying patiently, obviously aware that I was exploring and happy to allow me to do so._

_Then moving back to her clit I decided to try something different and carefully began sucking on her. I heard her let out a moan from further up the bed and had to suppress a grin. Well that certainly worked. I continued sucking, occasionally taking a break to kiss the whole way down to her opening and then back up again, before carefully pausing with two of my fingers at her entrance. Gently I pushed inside, thankful that after some time playing she was lubricated enough that there wasn't much resistance._

_I heard her moan again as I began working my fingers in and out of her, adding a third once I was sure it wouldn't hurt her. At the same time I continued softly sucking on her clit,_

_"Yes, right, there." I heard her moan out; and as I pushed my fingers in even further and clamped my mouth tightly around her clit I finally felt her go over the edge, continuing what I was doing for long enough to let her ride out her climax._

_"You, are, amazing" Nikki said, pulling me up the bed to kiss me. I kissed her back for a moment before sliding back down her body to clean her up a little with my tongue. A few more moans later and once I was satisfied I was done I went back next to her and placed a kiss onto her lips._

_She kissed back and then looked down at where I'd been laying. "Oh look you enjoyed yourself too" she teased, and I realised that where I'd been I'd managed to leave a wet patch on my duvet._

_"Oh..." I blushed, not really sure what to say, just feeling hugely embarrassed by my reaction._

_"I guess that means it's my turn then" she said, before flipping me onto my back. Like me she started at the top, playing only for a few seconds with my breasts before realising there was no way she could do it without hurting me at the moment and instead continuing down my body. I watched as she carefully began touching me with her fingers, knowing I'd probably need a little more time to get used to her touch than she had with me._

_"Just let me know if you need me to stop yeah?"_

_"Yeah" I replied, touched again by how amazing she was being to me._

_I saw her playing about with my hair and then stop. She'd seen my scar. Gentle fingers ran over it, moving my hair out of the way so that she could get a better view. "Does it hurt?"_

_"Not anymore."_

_She settled herself between my legs and kissed my scar first, before carefully parting me so that she could get to me, a harder task than I'd had with her._

_"I'm sorry, is the hair getting in the way" I felt my face flushing again._

_"No it's fine beautiful, I'm guessing..."_

_"Yeah to cover my scar" I finished for her._

_She nodded to show that she'd heard and then before I had a chance to worry about it anymore I could feel her tongue on me. Like I had with her she slowly explored me, working out what I liked. After a few minutes I felt her push a finger to my entrance, slowly trying to enter into me. Except no matter how much lubrication she'd made for herself, my entire body tensed when I realised what she was going to do and I tightened so much that there was no way she was getting anywhere._

_"Sorry... I'm trying to relax, but..."_

_"Shhhh it's fine." She moved her fingers away, obviously deciding to fight that battle another time. I may be ready for us to be intimate in some ways, but there were other things I just wasn't ready for quite yet. So instead she went back to just using her tongue. She moved to my entrance and I waited, expecting her to just play around it like I had with her. Except the next moment I felt her tongue push its way inside me, and felt myself moan out. Her fingers found their way to my clit and while her tongue pushed in and out, swirling around inside me, her fingers rubbed against my sensitive nub, pushing me closer and closer to the edge until after over half an hour of her playing with me..._

_I heard myself scream out as the most incredible feeling swept across my body. I grabbed hold of the bed sheets as I rode it out before laying, panting and out of breath, on the bed above where she was laying. When sure I was done she moved up next to me, before blushing as she asked. "So... I was okay then?"_

_"You were more than okay" then I remembered what had happened before. "Sorry I... tensed up a bit. I didn't mean to I just..."_

_"Shhhh" she put her fingers to her lips. I could taste me on them. "Babe it's okay, I found a way around it and at least that means we still have something new to do next time. That's if you want a next time?" Suddenly she was the one that was nervous and insecure._

_"Of course I do, if you want one. I mean I know my last... review... wasn't good. So I understand if I was shit and you don't want us to again."_

_"Shut up you were perfect" I relaxed into the kiss I received with this comment, and then shuffled to the side, pulling the duvet covers over us and snuggling into her._

_"I can see what you meant now when you said about not wanting to get into pajamas."_

_I looked up at her and grinned slightly. "Actually I was just going to suggest that we lay naked together and held each other for a bit, but this worked too."_


End file.
